Ten Common STD Risk Myths

People often think that you can tell if someone has an STD just by looking at them, smelling them, or judging their character. You can't. Many STDs are asymptomatic -- meaning they have no symptoms -- and STDs can affect anyone. They're diseases, not moral judgments.

The only way for you to know if you have an STD is to get tested. The only way for you to know if your partner has an STD is to ask when they were last tested and what their results were. Getting tested before you start a relationship is a great way to avoid unfounded accusations of cheating later on.

People often talk about waiting until they know and trust their partner to have sex, or stop having safe sex, but trust has little to do with a realistic assessment of STD risk. I suppose the theory is that when you trust someone, they'll let you know if anything is wrong with their health, but when it comes to STDs, that thinking ignores two simple facts. First, your partner may not know that they are infected. Second, the stigma of STD infection is so strong they may be afraid to talk about a diagnosis, or their sexual history, for fear of losing your love.

Although men may have condom brands they prefer, that doesn't mean they always have them on hand. There's nothing as frustrating as deciding that you're ready to have sex with someone only to discover that neither of you has a condom handy. That's why if you're thinking about becoming intimate with a partner, it's always a good idea to carry your own condoms. It's better to be safe than running around looking for an open drug store at two in the morning.

Being diagnosed with genital herpes can be incredibly depressing -- even for people who have lived with cold sores (oral herpes) their entire life. One of the biggest concerns is often that if someone is honest with their future partners, they will never be able to date again.

Fortunately, that doesn't seem to be true. Although there are some people who are too paranoid to look past a herpes diagnosis, most individuals are willing to take an informed risk for someone they care about -- particularly when the person is willing to discuss their herpes infection in an upfront and matter-of-fact way.

Many people seem to think that condoms are something you just use until you know your partner well enough. There's no reason, however, for that to be the case. Many individuals use condoms as a normal part of their sex life -- for contraception -- and they don't find regular use to be unrealistic at all. Condoms are as much a part of sex for them as taking off their clothing -- an assumption, rather than a negotiation. It's all in how you think about things.

That having been said, if latex condoms cause you physical discomfort, it may be worth exploring alternative protection options to see if you may have a spermicide sensitivity or latex allergy. Choosing the right condom can make a big difference in how "realistic" and enjoyable they are.