Readers Respond: HIV Testing: The Fears, The Realities, and The Stories

This is a place for you to share your stories about HIV testing. Feel free to talk about when and why you decided to get tested, as well about what it was like going for the test itself.

NOTE: To answer anonymously, log out of your account and post as a guest. Share Your Experiences

what if

I've had 8 sexual partners with whom i practised unsafe sex. I have to take the test today, i feel like i'm already positive, what are the odds of escaping it all these times. I was so foolish and careless. i'm so scared. This is my first test.

—Guest phyl

stupid mistake

I have had 5 different partners before getting engaged to my fiancee. Had oral sex with 2 partners, had anal sex with 1, and safe sex with another. Did not practice safe sex with my fiancee. Suddenly it hit me that i might have HIV. Could not even remember if i had any symptoms. Worried sick. Im getting free and anonymous testing today. Have been having cold feet and fingers! I wish I more educated on HIV.

—Guest alicia

Absolutely terrified!!

I have never had a HIV test! But will have one this afternoon. I have had quite few unprotected sex for a decade. 2 years ago I had sort of flu like symptoms for 2 or 3 days. Did a blod test, doctor said it was ok. HIV was totally out of my mind and I just never though bout it. Had a kidney stone operation last year, spend few days on the hospital. But the last few months started to have this sickens feeling and loosing appetite. And then like a flash in my mind came HIV! Jumped on the Internet looking for symptoms! The more I would read, the more terrified I would get. The last few days for me have been absolutely nightmare! How is it possible i have been do ignorant and never educated myself on safe sex? I have bad feeling that thre is more like me out there. If am negative, it would only be a miracle of gods protection. Another 7 hours to my test!! My heart is banging on my chest! Whatever the results will be this afternoon, one thing is for sure. My life will never be the same agai

—Guest Emin

scared

I went for hiv test with my fiance coz I'm pregnant but I'm so scared of the result. I was really reckless in sch, (wasn't keeping a boyfriend but sugar daddies) one of my friends ended up positive. I'm getting married in 3weeks and I just hope I don't get a result that'll ruin my day.

—Guest Pregnant and scared

So scared

I have had unprotected sex with about 3 guys was drunk for most of them. Now I'm in a loving monogamous relationship with a guy who was a Virgin before he met me. A week after we had unprotected sex he developed flu like symptoms and now I'm just terrified. I love this guy and I'm so scared I'm HIV positive and have transferred it to him. I can't sleep for worrying about it and have decided to take the test as soon as possible so that I know the next steps to take. I'm just so scared about taking the test but I'm even more terrified about having possibly passed it on to someone so wonderful and young. Please advise me as I am at my wits end.

—Guest scared witless

i do test every begging of the year

i go for hiv test every begging of the year,i went 06/02/2013.this time i have asked my girlfriend to go with me,i trust and have principle when it comes to testing,i fear no testing but God,better to know your results.i am so happy and trust myself coz i stick to my principles whenever i wanna do something i do it,i am a regular client and everytime i get to the testing centre ladies always ask me why is it that i am a guy and never get scared to be tested,i reply,coz i love myself,i want to live up to 150years if its possible,

—Guest kaelo

worried stupid

I have been anxiously waiting three months, and had my HIV test yesterday. My partner _and I contracted clamidya in which I developed pid. Is how I found out. With two negative test six and eight weeks, I am afraid for the worst on the 12 week. It doesn't help the person who gave the sti denies even having it. When do you stop worries for you partner, and your self. Never thought about an STD or HIV. With so much mixed info on testing out and what's good or not three months my Dr says is only 90% . Three months the CDC says. I'm ready to be done with this. Now I feel if we have this I wont be there for my daughter in ten years. She's only six. ***From Your Guide: With proper treatment, individuals with HIV can live a long, healthy life. HIV infection is NOT a death sentence.***

—Guest worried stupid

UK

Had uprotected sex with guys who never felt the same about me until I met my current boyfriend who cares for me so much, a feeling of guilt was in the back of my mind until the point I had to get tested, I had been offered tests in the past but was always too scared, I finally forced myself to do it for my family and boyfriends sake, the 3 days waiting my results was like nothing I've ever experienced before, I had read so much stuff on the internet and then I came across someone who said getting tested doesn't give you hiv, for the ones who turn out to be hiv+ they are saving their lives and for the ones who turn out negative they can move on without the constant worry and learn from their mistakes, either way its better knowing. God has helped me so much I thought my luck had run out, but my test turned out negative I feel reborn, it took a lot for me to get tested if I can do it you can do it.

—Guest K

lucy

Hello . Unfortunsately I was not that lucky. Got into a relationship for the first time in six yrs. Fell inlove and had unprotectedf sex . About 3 weeks after we had unprotectedf sex I got sick flu like symptoms and high fever .After a while he started getting different ailments. Asked him if he could have aids . He denied it . He suddenly just packed up oneday without a word. Would not even take my calls. After 2 months he tried contacting me saying he has cancer and he was sorry and loved me. I was so upset with the way he walked out . Would not give him a hearing. Thou I loved him still . A month later I was told he just passed away from aids related tb. I immediately went for test which came back positive. Right now don't know which is the hardest to deal with . His deceipt or the hiv virus . So people out there please be careful

—Guest guest

9years of darkenss

Pls, I need ur advice. For the past 9 years, I had been sleeping and waking up with the though of having HIV. I had sex with a prostitute 9 years ago on tuesday, 15th June, 2003 and since then I am yet to have peace of mind. I protecte myself but the condom broke as I was ejaculating. But with what I have read here I shall go for my test on monday. God help me

—Guest phem

finally went!

Mann I'm scaared to death of my text results that I will be getting back thursday. I slipped up a lot and do to my bad anxiety, my thoughts cause me to keep looking up HIV symptoms. (Mind games) stay off the internet is what I think. I'm so scared its serious I have kids. I really am scared . But today I went and got tested for serveral things and I hope and pray I am NEGATIVE so can gain control of my life and make my self a better more responsible person. If you are scared and haven't been tested just go. Better to know than to NOT know. SMH the wait is a "I'm already screwed feeling". Pray for me please. God Bless

—Guest Chambers

How long

Hi, Please I want to ask that if you made the test and you got a positive , is it possible to tell since when you have the virus ?? like how long ? ***From your Guide: Theoretically, yes, it is possible to tell if it's a new infection. However, those tests are not widely available.***

—YIVI

Scred

Hi there, I had a sexual encounter with no protection what so ever about 2 months ago. But the anxiety was killing me. 1 month after the sexual encounter i decided to do the HIV test.I have never been so scared in my life thinking that a + or - could change your life. The results came back NEGATIVE. 3 months has passed but my doctor told me that its better to do an HIV test every 6 months since when a person gets infected with the virus it takes up to 3 months until the virus shows up in your system. On Sep 2012 is the 6th month. I had no sexual encounters what so ever so i think is coming out as negative. Please people do an HIV test every 6 months and if you have a partner get her/him tested as well. Best luck to all of you guys.

—Guest Jp

Very Risky

Hi, I'm a 39 year old male. I recently had unprotected sex with a women that I found later has sex for money. I always practice safe sex, but my condom broke. When I came close to climaxing, that's when I notice that the condom had broke. I know that the condom hadn't been broke long because I kept checking it. 9 days later I had flu like symptoms, chills and a 104 fever really bad. I have to get tested in one more month, I am scared sick. I think about it everyday , I think that I have it. Since that day, I read alot on HIV , this diseases is very scary, I wish that I would have read about this disease a long time ago, I didn't know all of this information about this disease. I don't want to have to go threw all of the doctor visits, medication, etc.... If I make it pass this , I will be a different person when it comes to sex. I have learn my lesson, I just hope a pray that I haven't learn it the hard way.

—Guest Kelivin

Best decision I ever made

I had a risky experience two and a half years ago. For whatever reason, I was horrified about the idea of getting tested and just knew that I was positive. I spent the last two and a half years of my life waking up and going to sleep thinking about the fact that I was HIV+, even though I'd never been tested. My relationships suffered, as I was too afraid to get very serious due to my self-diagnosis. My work suffered, as I burned bridges frantically trying to find something with better health benefits. I literally changed my entire life because my fear of getting tested. Yesterday I did the scariest thing I've ever experienced and went and got tested. It was negative. I wasted two and half years of my life based on my own fear of having HIV! Getting tested doesn't change your status. Your test isn't about your present situation, it's about your future and the future of those you love. Get tested and learn from my story-it's better to know, either way, than to live in fear!

—Guest Denver