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Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

Responses: 905

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Updated November 26, 2011

still afraid

I was diagnosed with geital herpes 6 years ago from my ex and had already fallen in love with my now husband of 2 years,we have 2 beautiful children,I have learned to live with this,but I am so afraid that I might accidently pass it to one of my babies,but I am just trying to educate myself and just be as careful as possible and also my husband does not have it.
—Guest shooting star

Cure for herpes

[deleted for factually incorrect information] A better way to look at it is this: Does it affect my life? For some the OB's are so infrequent the answer must be no. For others, there are treatments that can reduce or even eliminate OB's. I have tried them all, valtrex, herpeset, etc. with various levels of success. There is a new one called viradux that has worked better (for me) than any of the others. I will keep a positive attitude. Don't expect a miracle cure... but understand, gradually the science is progressing toward relief from this unfortunate condition.
—Guest sheryl

2weeks before my 21st birthday

You tell yourself things like this don't want happen to you....well I was wrong. I had received oral sex from a previous partner not knowing that once I left that same day my whole life would change. Literally hours afterwards I had a nasty feeling (down there) I thought nothing of it being it was 95° out and it could be sweat. The next day only turned out to be worse, no outbreak but my vagina was swollen and I thought I had a yeast infection went to the doctor passed on an examination and took the meds. The 3rd day I texted the son of a ***** & asked him did he have anything he said he'd had shingles...yeah right! At this point I couldn't pee straight nor take a bath hell I couldn't even wash myself. I finally gave in and went in for an exam...the next thing I knew I was crying a waterfall. In the back of your head you try to think of all the things you could of done differently, 2weeks before my 21st I hated life. 2yrs later I'm coping but life isn't over! Love yourself for you.
—Guest strongenough

My story.

Yesterday I was in so much pain I went to the emergency room. This was not a yeast infection. Definatly something different. It didn't take the doctor 5 seconds before she said without a bit of hesitation "oh yeah, that's herpes" I didn't even react at first really. I couldn't believe what she said & even asked her if she was serious. When she left the room I bursted in tears knowing that my life would never be the same again. I feel like I went from being everything to nothing. I feel like I'm trapped inside of a body that isn't even mine. What have I done to myself?
—Guest anonymous

Question

My partner just told me she has herpes. She started having small itchy skin rashes that we thought were hives due to stress. Now she has small red blister like bumps around her vagina and one on the outside of her mouth. She said she contracted the herpes from a previous boyfriend 10 years ago. Everything I've read contradicts her story. Can it lie dormant for ten years then break out like this? Or is this the sign of a first outbreak due to recent contraction? Can someone tell me if I should be worries that she just recently contracted it? ****From your Guide: Herpes can lay dormant with a first noticeable outbreak in times of stress, although it is not the most common presentation. However, lest you automatically assume she's been cheating, it's also possible that she might have caught it from _you_ if you have an asymptomatic infection that has not been identified through testing. ***
—Guest Manu

Regret

I have genital herpes. I had got diganosed with this diease in june of 2012. I was 18 at the time. Long story short i had a bf and another bf on the side and decided to leave my first bf 4 my 2nd bf and 1 day we finally decided to have sex and abt 2 weeks later i noticed a bump than other 1 i felt dizzy felt lik i was abt to faint i went to my doc and she took 1 look and i knew what i suspected was true she didnt have to say nuffin but wen she did i just broke dwn feelin nasty and stupid bc its not lik i dnt kno that u have to use protection. I regret even meeting this guy i hate his guts honestly i should have stayed with my 1st bf i wish i can take it bac but since i cant imma b strong for me (btw me and my first bf bac together) he been here 4 me the whole time love him lots we even talk abt kids and marriage
—Guest Tb

stay positive!!

no matter what always stay positive i just found out i have herpes actually 4 days ago the doc called me and gave me the results it's not the end of the world!!! the world doesn't stop make of this something positive in ur life keep urself healthy, eat healthy, keep urself free of stress and for those who feel hopeless about find love the person who will love u will accept u won't judge u i;m about to tell to my boyfriend and if he doesn't accept me then fine, a man that really loves me for who i am will come to my life ... stay positive people !!!
—Guest sara

Oral Herpes

I have been dating this wonderful man for about 6 months. And I've never been tested but I've had a cold sore on my lip twice in my life. Once 4 years ago, and once when I was 3 years old (I picked them up through an airport drinking fountain, and I had them all down my throat and it nearly killed me). I want to tell him I've had a cold sore (thus having oral herpes), but I really don't know how. And it's really really hard. I feel disgusting.
—Guest Guest 123

just found out yesterday

So i am a 21 year old female who had always had bad luck in my life nothing ever went right so i thought herpes could never happen to me because i had already been through so much in my life..the first time i had an "outbreak" i was a virgin and the doctors swore up and down it was herpes but the tests came back negative....now the same thing is happening to me all over Agin but this time i tested positive my first reaction was confusion, disbelief, hurt and alone but within a day i have came to terms with it and i have accepted that this is something that i am going to be living with...ive been praying about it and suddenly i feel this over whelming peace there's nothing i can do about it but live with it so that's just what i have to do my doctor told me this is not a life threatening disease and my life is not over just take your daily pills and it will decrease the chance of outbreaks I'm surprised at how strong i am being about this whole thing but you can still live a normal life
—Guest confused

Stay In There

I was diagnosed 2 days ago with herpes. I awoke one morning and had horrible pain when trying to urinate, I went on two days thinking it essa UTI and took antibiotics, but then I realized soreness w/ clothes, sitting,laying, even walking! I looked and saw blisters around my "you know what"! I immediately cried and called my mom, we set up an appointment and my doctored confirmed! I have had a bf for 1 1/2 years but were recently apart and I made a mistake! Luckily for me he is an amazing guy and is here for me 100%! He helps me lay down, goes gets me juice, and takes my mind off of it! His brother had it, but he hasn't had an outbreak in years! But I'm here to say love works in many ways & if someone truly loves you they will be there for you! Stay strong and be safe!
—Guest live strong

Am I having a nightmare?

I cheated on my wonderful, loving boyfriend 9 days ago with one of my exes. I'd never cheated on anyone before, and I never dreamed of cheating on the one man who has loved me more than anyone else. I started having sharp pain in my clitoris 24 hours after receiving oral sex and sleeping with my ex. I just thought it was sore from the physical act itself, but scared because it hurt so bad that it even hurt to walk. Yesterday morning I woke up with a completely new sore on my labia majora, unlike anything I've ever felt. Luckily I was able to get an appointment within hours at my gyno. She quickly did and exam, pap and swabbed the sores (which might've actually hurt worse than a tattoo) and asked me if I'd ever had a herpes outbreak. My heart sank and I immediately started crying as she explained to me that my symptoms look like herpes. I'm still waiting to hear the final test results from the physical and blood tests. I have a feeling I won't like what I hear. Karma is one big bitch.
—Guest Unforgiven

in the middle of it all

i went to the doctor two days ago and she couldn't form a diagnosis and performed some tests. The results are for tomorrow. After ive taken some antibiotics i went to see my doctor yesterday and she said within a minute that it can only be herpes. I've been in constant pain for 4days now and i already know what the test results will say. I have had a combined sleep of three hours in the past 4days and im exhausted. Im tired of it being that sore, of not being able to walk sit or bend. Not having anyone around for proper support. Not eating because i can't find it in me to get up and make something to eat. Im sick and tired of this. It's been almost a week since I last went to work too. My only consolation is that the first outbreak is the worst. I can only hope the future ones are less painful and infrequent.
—Guest in pain

30 years w herpes

I have been living w herpes for 30 years. I had sex with a friend and she called telling me I gave her herpes.At the time I was sure that I did not have or give it to her. I went to the DR. he could not see anything. 5 years later, married I found the bumps and called a buddy that has herpes and he confirmed the symptoms. This past week I was extremely upset with my girl. I have 4 back to back breakouts. I wish she would have taken my insecurity away so I didn't have to suffer emotional and physical pain. The trigger are real. I tried to calm myself down but any time I was alone I thought about the hurt she was causing and broke out again. I would go for years without any. The divorce brought the worst in my herpes breakouts. Now six years after the divorce its the trust issues that cause breakouts. Not gonna kill me but still sucks.
—Guest guest Dad

ups and downs

I've recently settled down with my current boyfriend. We were very careless about our sex, everything was fine until one day I noticed bumps. I went to the doctor and she stated that it might be genital herpes. I felt like the dirtiest nastiest girl ever. Although I am still currently waiting for my results, it doesn't look to bright. I don't want to mention anything to my boyfriend just yet. I am beyond angry at him but who else is to blame but myself. I now am taking numerous amounts of pills and am just praying things work out for me.
—Guest momo

Dealing with herpes......24 years later

In 1989 I moved to florida, living a hetero life then, I was lonely and met tis older Czech woman who was very sexually open which was what I wanted after growing up a sexually repressed catholic, anyways i didnt know her past,I was really vey inexperienced for that age..I wasn't a virgin but I never had sex that much and was never promiscuous.Long story short..she gave me herpes, left town, never saw her again but left me with this ugly present. I felt ashamed and dirty. When I explored the gay life later on, every time I met someone I would breakout and break the date. Then I met someone who I wanted a rlshp with and when I told him he was fine, non judgemental. he was glad it wasn't hiv. We arent together now. Not because of it. Breakouts still happen for me, but less often and less severe but just as devesating. there is one common denominator with all my breakouts..anytime I was angry, depressed, nervous or not enough sleep,I would break out...guaranteed. Always with slight fever.
—Guest mike

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