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Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

Responses: 541

By

Updated November 26, 2011

Well I have it

I used to get, or what I thought was a cut from having sex. I thought maybe it was because I wasn't lubricated and it got dry so I either got a cut or a rash. I later found out I had HSV1 I didn't think anything of it till I really researched it! Now have a boyfriend and I need to tell him but I don't know how. I think he is gonna leave me! I don't wanna be alone, but I will tell him so he can protect himself. I feel like a complete OUTCAST to the world.....
—Guest The secret girl

confused girl

Im 24 and I was diagnosed with herpes last year i was always careful practising safe sex and was in 2 serious relationships for 6 years before i caught this, and never slept around, the 1 man i had unprotected sex with gave this to me, he said he didnt know he had the virus, i have mixed feelings about this everyday, somedays i look in the mirror and cry and think why me?? Then sometimes i get up in the morning and think hey your still a normal girl who could have something alot worse than this, i worry about when i want kids in the future and is anyone ever going to want me for life? Or will i just end up unhappy and alone, this will only happen if i let it, i am not going to let it ruin my life, i have only just now started dating again and ive met a lovely guy but he is 6 years younger than me so i worry that i may infect him, i have told him about this which i found quite hard to do but he understood and we always use protection we were all unlucky but life can go on be strong!
—Guest lowie

Its not the end of the world......

Just found out on Monday that i have herpes. That is all that that one doctor told me. I was so upset and confused. The man I am dating and i have been faithful to other, so i couldn't for the life of me figure out where this came from. But little did i know, my boyfriend suffers from cold sores. This didn't stop us from engaging in any sexual activities. Then a week later I have my first outbreak. So I made an appointment with my gyn and confirmed i have hsv1. My boyfriend is super supportive. This is something we will live with. And not let it control our lives. Its a virus not the end of the world. This doesn't make me love my boyfriend any less and i really don't blame him for this. Its not his fault neither of us knew it was possible to spread hsv1 like that.
—Guest infected but not consumed

I just found out

I'm probably the oldest guy to be sharing. I'm 68. A few months ago I was dating a woman about 50 years old and got involved in some heavy kissing with her. A few days later she told my she had genital herpes. Around this time I got a cold sore on the corner of my mouth. I waited a few months before checking for herpies and sure enough, I tested positive for HSV 1 (oral). I'm not totally sure if this woman who I mentioned gave it to me (she later said that she had kissed a guy about five years ago who had a cold sore and then she got a cold sore, too). Malybe she has HSV 1 and 2. We had a nasty falling out and it's difficult to communicate with her. I've been doubly upset that I have herpes now, because it restricts my ability to be affectionate by kissing and also because I'm a professional trumpet player and teacher. That's all I need is a cold sore on my lip when I have a gig or am teaching. I'm trying to be strong and opimisitic. My heart goes out to all of you.
—consciousness

will this consume my life

i just found out today i have genital herpes, and i just turned 20. im usually pretty careful but apparently not careful enough.. this is my first outbreak, and its ugly but luckily not painful. i feel so grosss. i wish i could say im strong and wont let it control me but i cant. i cant stop crying and thinking about it. and thinking bout people i may have infected.. hopefully no one. who is going to want me now. it was hard enough finding a guy before now; forget it. i pray i at least dont have anymore ugly outbreaks or the medicine helps it immediately. i have many years to go and now i feel trapped. i should of been smarter and now its too late. i wish i could go back. being young and foolish has bigger consquences then everyone thinks.
—Guest nessa

Its Hard....

Everyday is hard for me... I found out about 2 months ago that i had GH2 and I was depressed and sometimes i still am but what helps me cope is knowing that i am not alone... I date still i just don't have sex... I'm not ready to tell anyone my condition and thus far i've been dealing with this on my own..... But i will share some things that i do to help ease my symptoms Wash the area with dial soap it will keep it dry and i take acyclovir 2 a day for surpressive therapy you can get it at walmart w/ a prescription for 4 bucks I also take 1000g Lysine and vitamins.... I have not had a outbreak since the first but i still get tingles every now and then.... I just tell myself I am still me.... I am not a disease and this wont take my life from me... If anyone would like to someone to just talk to my email is HopenHeart12@gmail
—Guest HopenHeart

Random Thoughts..

I was diagnosed 3 years ago. It was a big surprise to me since I can't ever recall having an outbreak. Although outbreaks can come in so many forms that it can be overlooked. I went through the same feelings that most of you describe, feeling dirty, alone, like the only one in the world and that I would never date. I have to say that now I have accepted it. The feelings went away and have been replaced by acceptance. I do have to admit that it is a little difficult when it comes to dating. People know so little about HSV. It is not pleasant news to deliver to someone you are trying to date and some people can't handle it. Which I guess its a good thing because it means that they were just interested in sex rather than forming a relationship but there are also people who like you and don't think it's that important. There are many of us. You are not alone! :-)
—Guest Acceptance

FEELING TARNISHED

I TOOK SO MUCH PRIDE IN BEIN LOYAL FAITHFUL AND "CLEAN" DOWN BELOW, IDK SUMTIMES I THINK IM BEING PUNISHED FOR ALWAYS SAYING THINGS LIKE DAT ONLY HAPPEN TO WHORES..SILLY ME, NOW BECAUSE I CHOSE TO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH HPV2. I WAS AND AM STILL DEVASTATED ITS BEEN ABOUT 2-3 MONTHS SINCE I FOUND OUT BUT I STILL CRY LIKE IT "JUST" HAPPENED. IM ANGRY WITH MYSELF MORE THAN ANYTHING, N LIKE THE HARSH REALITY GOES THE PERSON I GOT IT FROM HAD NO IDEA HE HAD IT NO BUMPS SORES N NO PAIN EVER, I BELIEVE HIS PREVIOUS GF GAVE IT 2HIM..WATEVER THE CASE MAY BE, I AM DEVASTATED AND "THINK" I CAN NEVER THINK HIGHLY OF MYSELF AGAIN..BUT TO ALL THE PPL WHO ARE BEING POSITIVE MY HATS OFF TO YOU AND GOD BLESS AND SPEAKING OF WHICH, PRAYER GOES A LONG WAY! THNX GUYS ;)
—Guest 3445

Just found out.

I got herpes from my BOYFRIEND. In a monogamous relationship. He didn't know that he had herpes, and passed it on to me. I am so depressed and saddened by this news. I am trying to not resent my boyfriend because I know he didn't purposefully give this to me. My symptoms were typical for a first herpes outbreak, I had a fever, I felt horrible, swollen throat glands, burning on the outside of my vagina, the bumps I now had hurt SO bad. I wanted the bumps to just be ingrown hairs, they look NOTHING like the google images. Mine looks like ingrown hair bumps, they don't look like blisters, they're small. I have about 5 of them. I am now taking valtrex. If the relationship with my boyfriend does not work I don't want other guys to think I'm dirty or a whore for catching herpes. All I want is a husband and a family.
—Guest Sad soul

You are depressing!

I was diagnosed yesterday. Reading some of these posts make me sad, simply because many of you are CHOOSING to give in to this social stigma!! You have it, deal with it!! Life doesn't ask you what you want. The only thing you get a say in is how you cope with what life throws at you. My boyfriend is a carrier and had no idea, so when I got it from him, my immune system chose to fight back. How does this make me dirty or ruined as you say? It makes me stronger because my body is doing its job! There are way more people out there who never have a clue because they simply do not show symptoms. This negative attitude is so easy to fall into, but it is a choice, and I choose not to suffer under this. I encourage you all to join me. If you are rejected by a "loved one" because they cannot accept you for you, then $&#@! them, because they obviously do not care for you much at all. Have a little dignity people, and a little self-respect. LOVE YOURSELF more than this. Please.
—Guest Optimistic!

There's absolutely no way...

I have a huge outbreak. I'm only fourteen. I've never had sex, and I've never even made out with anyone. The last time I kissed someone was a peck, and it was a month before my outbreak. I'm experiencing about 80% of the symptoms, and this "rash" can't be anything other than Herpes. I'm pretty, smart, athletic, artistic, and I'm a good singer, and I feel like I've always done everything right. But I've been punished with Herpes. Now, thinking that my friends and family may loo at me differently makes me feel disgusting; what if I become a friendless loser? What if everyone stays away from me? And now I know I can't have sex without telling my partner in the future, which will most probably end everything. I just can't believe that I may be having Herpes. Right now, I'm waiting for the doctor to arrive, and I'm just hoping that I'm wrong, but something tells me I really do have genital herpes.
—Guest I Did NOTHING Wrong

Read this to help you through it

This graphic novel, Monsters, by Ken Dahl, is a fantastic story about a guy that contracts HSV2 and all the emotional baggage that comes with this diagnosis. It's easy to believe that "you're nothing but the disease," which is exactly what this character struggles with. If you're having a hard time with HSV2 and living with the consequences (I know I am), check out this graphic novel. It really helped ease my burden to know someone out there *really gets it.*
—Guest MplsGuy

changed my life for the BETTER .

19 year old college student, attractive and outgoing. Diagnosed with hsv2 almost ago. The physical had nothing on the emotional pain. I cried for days, i could barely keep it together in class or work. I looked to friends and family for support. A week later my bestfriend was also diagnosed with hsv2, another friend of mine had been diagnosed weeks before me, and my mother told me she's been living with it for over 20 years. Slowly my attitude changed and began to feel normal again. If my mother can have two healthy children, a husband who is hsv1and2 NEGATIVE, and live happy why can't I? Its more common than I even knew and I take valtrex daily to avoid the future outbreaks as much as possible. Herpes has made me realize that my emotional pain was not just the diagnoses but because there was a void in my life. My faith was lost and I have found it since my diagnosis. Herpes has helped me return to a path a faith that I put on hold for sex. So I'm not sad or depressed. I'm living ! !
—Guest walkbyfaith

just found out

i had a red bump on my inner labia i thought was a cut. i looked up herpes on the internet and thought the picture looked similar, but it was only 1 bump so i was confused. i went to the ER and they gave me acyclovir, but said not to take it until i saw more bumps. well, i didnt see more bumps but i did have a cut in between my labia, i figured i accidentally pulled them apart too rough. after a week of groin pain, sharp leg pains ,swelling ,painful urination, redness and itching, 3 blisters appeared. i had to face facts. im nervous about the medicines side effects. i dont want to have sex, im really afraid of passing it to someone, or causing an outbreak.ive been crying on and off for 2 weeks. im finally accepting that this has happened to me at 33 years old. i am alone with my son and he saw how sick i was, of course i can tell him. i feel so guilty. im getting tested tomorrow to confirm it. please protect yourself! i wish i did
—Guest nikki77

holey shit

i was just diagnosed with herpes 2. i am scared, humiliated and feel dirty. i am a good looking, divorced female with no children. i have dated more men than i can count and i feel so stupid for making such a big mistake. with who i have no idea. atleast it's not aids, right? Any advice on where i go from here? i'm on suppression meds but they make me so sick to my stomach.
—Guest wendy

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