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Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

Responses: 901


Updated November 26, 2011

Keep praying for strength

My partner and I still don't know how we got exposed to herpes. All I know is one day we bout was at a relative house and decide to mk love. We used their soap and rag to clean off before sex. After I had a burning feeling the next day he had a blister on his penis. A week later I got a blister one my lip. Went to the doc got a call bk I had herpes. I'm confused and still living becus I know my GOD still luv me. I enjoyed reading everyone status. Pls don't beat urself up for something man can't control. Pray about it try not passing it but most live. Thank about it, it. could be worst than this. I love all of u. And if no one else doesn't learn to luv urself. Ain't no luv like self luv. Be blessed becus I know I am.
—Guest Still God's child

Life sure does gives u obstacles

I just found out yesterday that I have herpes and I am still in shock. I am in college and I have soooo much planned for my future. I just started dating theee perfect Guy who I am considering a serious relationship with. But, then I get the news of this. This really sadden me because it just makes my life a bit more harder nd cautious. I just pray that my life goes on with ease even with this infection. I just hope and pray that those that I come in contact with in my future will be more accepting of this because I am still human. Therefore, I will continue on with my goals in life finishing college to obtain a PhD. With that accomplishment and whatever field I decide to go into that's enough in life to be accepting of myself to know that nothing including this virus stopped me from accomplishing anything..
—Guest Lovely

changed my life

I got genital herpes when I was 16 from my boyfriend who was 10 years older than me. He denied being the one who gave it to me but even at 16 i wasn't stupid. I hadn't been with anyone else and I had the most painful outbreak of my life about a week after we first had unprotected sex. After we broke up, I continued to date for years without telling my partners about my condition. I just made sure to use protection and remained detached. My disease was and still is under control, my outbreaks are rare and r only caused by other things like a really bad yeast infection. Finally, at 19, my partner decided to have unprotected sex with me without me knowing. I knew i had given him the disease and was so scared to tell him. It was my first time actually facing the reality. When I broke the news, he hit me. Not long after that I met an amazing man and had learned that I had to tell him about my herpes. He was totally fine and respectful of it and didn't judge. Above all, its embarrass
—Guest somegirl

Keep faith

I have had herpes since I was in h.s and I was a virgin it was the oral kind. Then years later after becoming sexually active I found that it transmitted to the genital area. I have no idea how this happen but I guess if you touch it an then touch other areas you can get it even in the eyes. At first I tought it was the end of the world ad I was embarrassed to tell my parents at the end all the worrying and stress was for nothing. My father's response was " doesn't everyone have herpes now and days" and he smiled and hugged me. My mom comes with me to my check ups and all I can tell those who live with the disease is have faith and always be honest at the end you never know people's reaction and will be surprise to the support and understanding some will bring. To the ones that don't forget them because they are ignorant and may even carry the virus and not know. Good luck to you all!!
—Guest Sad and stress

use better judgment

I was 19 when I contracted this disease. I received it from my boyfriend of two years. I seen the ulcer on his penis and still had sex with him believing that he was still clean. Days later multiple sores appeared and I went to get tested and was confirmed I had a severe outbreak of herpes. I wanted to die... Ever since I still have outbreaks but not as severe. I also had a baby who was not affected by the disease. if I had of used better judgment and not trusted him I wouldn't have been affected but that's a choice I now live with every day.
—Guest still upset

It's not the end of the world

I am a 36 year old woman, and have just been diagnosed with herpes. Ive been in a loving, faithful relationship for 8 months, and neither of us have cheated. I have tiny painful bumps around my vagina and anus and have been feeling really ill and feverish. My boyfriend has never had any issues downstairs, but he does get cold sores. I may have caught it from him orally or via sex (he may have it and just not have any symptoms) or I may have had it before we met and just never had an outbreak before. Either way, he has been great, and there is no point trying to apportion blame. We both love each other and know the other has not been unfaithful. I just hope the disease does not flare up too often or affect my life too much. Stay healthy and look after yourself people, but this does not make you any less of a person. It's very common and very easily passed on. It doesn't mean your partner cheated. Hope this helps.
—Guest Herpules

i never thought this would happen to me.

I found out I had herpes a day before my birthday. Soon to be going on 1 year. Even a year later its still hard to except. I stopped dating because Im scared of admitting that I have it and then him reject me. I'm only 22 was with one guy for seven years and it popped up. Were not together anymore and now I don't know how to feel. Life goes on and I'm trying my hardest not to let it control my life.
—Guest lonely

i never thought this would happen to me.

I found out I had herpes a day before my birthday. Soon to be going on 1 year. Even a year later its still hard to except. I stopped dating because Im scared of admitting that I have it and then him reject me. I'm only 22 was with one guy for seven years and it popped up. Were not together anymore and now I don't know how to feel. Life goes on and I'm trying my hardest not to let it control my life.
—Guest lonely

First Herpes Outbreak

Well, I'm a 24 year old single mother who has finally become single after spending the last 8 years of my life in 2 (separate) relationships where I was STI free. Had an amazing week last night, really enjoying being single and ended up having a one night stand with someone. I was feeling fantastic until Sunday (three days later) that I started to feel the symptoms of what I thought was thrush. Had one small spot on my pubic area which worried me but as I shave, I thought it might be an ingrown hair and the next day, I treated myself for thrush. Well, the symptoms did not go, and 6 days later, my vagina is incredibly sore and swollen, covered in blisters that are now starting to crust over. Hoping that these will go soon, I can't walk I'm that sore! :'-( GUM clinic gave me some treatment yesterday and tested me for other STI's. Even though Herpes can be caught with the use of a condom, still use one as the chances of catching it are smaller. We didn't and now I have to live with this..
—Guest Emma

The cure!!!

I just wanted to tell everyone here that there is hope. A new study has come for a cure. The idea is that you are given a drug that forces the virus out of hiding causing a full on outbreak. The you are treated with the serum that eradicates the virus all together. Animal testing has been successful but they say it could be up to 20 years from now before it is ok for human use. Lets all hope and pray that it is sooner rather than later. I would be ok with a super severe outbreak just one time to be rid of it forever. Just know that nobody here is to blame for contracting it. 50% of the population has oral herpes before adulthood and 25% of the population are carriers and about 80% of those carriers have no clue they even have it. SO don't beat yourself up. I also noticed questions of should I tell people i plan to date? Absolutely. My fiance accepted me with the virus and he has not contracted it. Also there are several dating sites for people with herpes. Find someone already infected
—Guest Ohio

down but not out

My boyfriend and I have been in an monogamous relationship for over a year. We've been through some UPS and downs but we never let ourselves stay mad at each other. Last Thursday while in the shower I noticed a bump on my vagina so I asked my babe to check it out. We both decided that it was an in grown hair. That same night I had a temp charting up to 103. Me being stubborn I thought I could fight it so I tried. 3 days later on my birthday I couldn't take it anymore so my bf rushed me to emergency. The admitted me right away and 2 days later diagnosed me with herpes. The doctors explained to us that it can lie dormant for years before first outbreak. Although it's scary I'm ok. My boyfriend still loves me and is still by my side as I'm laying in the hospital gown :)
—Guest Ms.eo

My story

My son, dakoda, and i were infected with herpes virus in the last trimester of my pregnancy by his father. Dakoda meaning little warrior teaching me that life is something we should not take for granted. Dakoda just turned two july 11 th. I have not allowed his father around because he risked our sons life before he was even born. I dated one guy gor 6 months i told him my herpes story on iur second date. The guy was very sweet intel we started having sex he started treating me like the disease. I stopped talking to him. I have little hope in finding love along with forgiving myself for putting my sons life at risk because i trusted his father. Dakoda breaksout on his hand once a month. Sadly now i appreciate everything, everyone and every moment in eachday i live with my two young boys. I am a single mother but always stay positive
—Guest Suexziexq

possible victim

I'm so scared that I may have HSV-2. 3 months ago I was in a sexual relationship with a man 23 years older than me. I never meant for it to happen, it just did. He has an asian girlfriend around his age and says neither he nor she has symptoms. I developed a rash on my upper inner thigh which was nonpainful and then started getting red bumps around my vulva. They were a little itchy and burned a little when my urine ran over them but not too much. They disappeared after a week without meds or anything. Now it's 3 months later and I've finally been to a gynecologist. She says that she thinks I have BV seeing as I've had discharge with an odor since the beginning. I've been on my meds and my symptoms are leaving but I still asked to be tested for everything including herpes. I get my results in 5 days and I am out of my mind with worry. He says he doesn't have it but I don't trust men to begin with. If I don't have it, no sex until marriage people. And even then I expect testing results.
—Guest scared to death

my story and curiosity

I was in a relationship with a mentally abusive guy for a couple months. We were very physical, and we had unprotected sex once. Me and him ended it, and a little under a year later I was in a new relationship. Me and Jim had sex a few months in, but shortly after he broke up with me. (Typical teenage boys, I am 17 myself) I was diagnosed with herpes only two weeks after the break up with Jim. Chances are it was the abusive boyfriend because me and Jim used protection - but should I have told Jim when I was diagnosed, even though it was after he harshly broke up with me and used me for sex anyways? If it was Jim, I could call him out on it, but if it wasn't - an ex-boyfriend will know I have herpes and that would be no good! But I'm also afraid he might have gotten it from me, because I hear it's possible to get it even with a condom... so should I warn him?
—Guest guest 210

How in the hell???

After 11 yrs of being with NOBODY I met a man and gave in. I took every precaution I could since I wasn't on birth control. He didn't even get near me without a condom on. Two weeks later, I get a horrible pain between my labia that was so bad I honestly wondered if I'd gotten a tic working out in my flower bed! The doc did an exam and a culture, but she basically told me what she believes I have. Apparently you CAN spread it, even with a condom. I had no idea he was positive. Now, the thing is - now what? Do I have to tell every man I even hope to be with that I tested positive? I'm just so confused and pissed and...UHG.
—Guest A

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