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Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

Responses: 920


Updated November 26, 2011

It is not the end of the world

I'm 17 I have been very careful in relationships when it comes to sex. Including knowing the guy for atleast a year and using safe sex. All of my friends were having sex with people and they were fine. I was going through a hard time with my dad not being here for me and so I started looking for comfort in other guys. I met a guy and he made me feel special I didn't know him very well but we were going to have sex. I insisted on using a condom but he denied and I fell into pure pressure. We had sex multiple times and everything was fine. A month later I had an uncomfortable feeling down there. I went and got checked and the doctor said I had yeast she gave me medicine, and it got WORSE I broke out into sores. I saw another doctor and she told me I had herpes.My swab test came out negative.It has been a month now and I have a sore.I am assuming the test results were wrong.I am upset. But, I look at the bright side.I know that if a guy REALLY LOVES ME he won't care if I have herpes!
—Guest ThisISHer

first outbreak doesn't heal

First I didn't have any symptoms, I just went to the gynecoligist to do some analasys when I came back from my holiday where I had sex with a guy with whom I fell in love..I was shoked to know that I was infected with herpes 2..I don't know whether he infected me or my ex because the symptoms reviled in a month after. I didn't believe the results of herpes test but 3 weeks later the first outbreak started and it has been lasting now for 7 weeks..From all the symptoms I have something like flu, cold sores and itching. I take acyclovir but it doesn't really help me, I want to try Famvir. Herpes changed my life badly, I'm not that girl anymore that I used to be, I'm only 23.. but anyway I think that my life doesn't end because of this infection and I believe that I can overcome this disease
—Guest Ele

best trick to relieve fire piss

This sounds gross but it honestly works like magic. During my first outbreak, i tried everything to sooth the screaming, white hot pain that shot through every nerve in my body when i went pee. I found something that actually works better than you could ever believe, although its a bit of a process. Well, have a good supply of cloths in the bathroom while having an outbreak. When you're about to go pee, take a cloth and fold it into a thin rectangle, and press it lightly against your vagina, while leaning forward almost in skiing mode on the toilet. Now i know it will seem awkward because yes, youll be peeing on your hand. If it still stings, press a little harder with the cloth. Do NOT wipe with TP. It clumps, and the chunks will feel like razors if they get in your sores. After using the cloth, shake drops off, hobble to the sink, rinse it off THOUROUGHLY, and dab your vagina. Immediately put it in the laundry and wash your hands with soap. I hope i could help. Good luck, beautiful!
—Guest herpestips

Keeping Faith uliveulearnumoveon

After coming back from a weeks vacation on Tuesday, I noticed a mild burning sensation when urinating the next couple of data the little white bump got worse and the pain when urinating became excruatiating and I went to my gynecologist to get some test done and he told me it could be herpes but he would have to wait for the lab results to confirm. I did my research and all my symptoms matched Herpes simplex virus 2. I felt like a dirty slut for having to much fun on vacation, what happen on the islands stay on the islands. I'm in denali about not having it because my blood test came back negative but it had only been 4 days and it takes up to 4 months to really detect it and dee down inside I know its something and Herpes is what I think. To know that I have live with it for life is depressing and I wonder will I ever find love but at least it's not HIV and not deadly or cause health issues it's just painful right now but from research and you stories it will decrease in pain overtime
—Guest Damaged

Wondering how this will go...

I was diagnosed with HSV-1 shortly before my 21st birthday. I got the virus from my then boyfriend when we had oral sex. I had never seen him with a cold sore before and we always used condoms so I felt like I was being safe and cautious. The pain from my first outbreak was excruciating; I was on Tylenol 3s and couldn't walk or do anything. I cried for about a month straight and just felt so dirty and broken. I avoided relationships for about 8 months because I was scared to trust anyone or get too close to someone; mostly I was terrified of passing the virus to someone else and for them to have to go through the pain and emotional anguish that I've suffered. Finally 2.5 years later I'm dating an amazing man who I'm falling in love with and I've decided to tell him about my "dark side" tomorrow night. I'm completely terrified that he won't understand and that I'll be alone forever. On the flip side, I'm anxious to get this off my chest and see if I can be accepted, blisters and all.
—Guest Anxious

its not the end

I got herpes and had no idea. It isn't always detectable in men. I found out after bc someone I had been with told me she had it. I have only had two outbreaks in 3 years. The first one was the worst, but the second one lasted for a few days. It's not the end of the world, but I hope there is a cure someday. It is more of a psychological issue with the way the media and public negatively portray the disease.
—Guest guest@

Knowledge & Faith go a long way

Hi All, I was diagnosed with HSV over a year ago and got it through plain bad luck. I was depressed and scared, angry and feeling hopeless. I had to tell my loved one and that's scary. But the more I read up on it, the more knowledgeable on the subject I was and with that came relief and hope. I spoke to my loved one about it with facts and belief that they would understand. Faith in your loved ones goes a long way and to my relief they were perfectly ok with it. All I can say to those who need to break the news to a loved one is make sure you prepare my being knowledgeable on the subject (because once you understand it, you realise it's nothing serious and not even close to being the end of the world) and have faith that someone who really loves you will support and accept you. You'll be pleasantly surprised. Focus on being a good person and a beautiful human being as that goes much further in finding true love then not having herpes. Good luck all and remember, knowledge faith.
—Guest Loved

Prayer really helps

Well im 17 and on my way to being a senior in high school and I have very big dreams for the future. I contracted it from my boyfriend of 11 months. I found out I had it the day of my birthday. I went to the E.R because I was in ALOT of pain and discomfort and thats when I heard those horrible words. Of course its hard at the beginning but your life is far from over. You still have alot of life to live and its truly what you make it. Just use this time and "do you". Make sure you love yourself before trying to give that love to someone else. Your life is NOT over and I truly mean that with every fiber of my being ! Just look at it this way time heals all wounds physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Don't beat yourself up because at the end of the day all you have is yourself. You will find love, true love all you have to do is love yourself and love God and everything will fall into place. Remember to put God first with everything you do and He will guide your footsteps...
—Guest Loving life


I have been dating a guy for one year and we planned to live together, the other night he dropped a bomb on me and said he had Herpes!! Oh I said why did you wait one year to tell me? You didnt give me a choice. Im now waiting on my blood test and im confused and angry with him at the moment.
—Guest Sarha

pregnant and learning more

I'm 20weeks pregnant and have just found out my partner has herpes. He just got his test back today. About 3weeks ago he had a little blister on the head of his penis. He went to get tested and I informed my doctor of the situation. She told me to wait til he's results and inform her when his test come back. well I'm happy to say if I do or don't have it. I'll stick by my lover,friend,childs father. Research and help sets. Safety and love is the best choices for us.
—Guest pregnant and scared

it is okay

I found out about my hsvII on my bday in 2011. I was oblivious to my symptoms and decided to have unprotected sex with my bf. I went to see my gyno days later and within two weeks , I was diagnosed. Today, I am married to my same bf and he was not the man who gave me herpes.
—Guest thankfully loved


Life is never an easy road! I contracted herpes in 2009 because of my own stupidity; I had unprotected sex with a new and unsafe partner. Two weeks after our first encounter I fell violently ill and got my first outbreak. It has been 4 years and I am outbreak free but still emotionally hurt and scarred. Over the course of 4 years, I have dated 3 men and all but one has been accepting of my condition. I am now a year and a half into a new relationship and he continues to love me irrespective. Love is boundless, and non-judgemental; whether you are pretty ugly, fat, skinny, diseased or healthy, the RIGHT person that truly loves YOU, for YOU, will always be there because they see something far greater in you beyond herpes.
—Guest There is hope

Not Even Sure What to Title This.

2 days ago, I found out I had a "fair chance" of having it...although the sore spot I had had already dried up and crusted over so the doctor couldn't make a for-sure diagnosis. Yesterday, it was worse. Much worse. New spots. Pus filled. Disgusting, painful, and embarrassing. I went back and she diagnosed it. I have been on a prescription to treat the first outbreak since yesterday. I have been with someone since January, and now it's August...I dated him for years in high school and now I'm in college...I'm only 20. I don't think he cheated but who really knows these days. He cheated on me in high school, and we had unprotected sex all the time. It was a miracle that I didn't up with a baby or an STD. He came back from the south, after having been with several other women, and I still didn't bother asking to use condoms. What the fuck is wrong with me? And I go for 7 months without contracting anything...it's like I kept being given chances but eventually probability rules. I lose.
—Guest Anonymous

i hope its not me

Well reading all the stories makes me believe i have herpes but i havent got tested yet. Here it goes.. ive been with my bf for almost 3 years n sadly unfaithful, i recently found out my x best friend got herpes and i had sex with a guy she had sex with.. anyays its been like 5 days since i fucked him and i woke up one morning and i felt sick, kind of headache and diahrea and my stomach was so uncomfortable i just made myself throw up, i felt sick for like 4 days and my stomach stayed uncomfortable I havent had any out breaks then i got a sore on the side of my lip n i was bleeding but didnt seem like my period. Me n my bf did anal and few hours later he said his dick was burning and his stomach was bullbing.. im like so scared it could be herpes because anythings possible and having sex is not a joke. Always wear a condom cuz ur life can change at any moment and be infected for life because u never wore protection.. reading all your stories gives me a reality check. thanks
—Guest alwayswearacondom, LA

I'll never know how...bf tests negative

Im a 17 year old girl, just about to be a senior in high school. I went to california a week ago, and after being in the hot tub numerous times I assumed the rash in my buttocks area was hot tub rash. All of the symptoms matched up. I had my mom make me an appointment at my pediatrician for the day of my return. The red, itchy bumps weren't healed at all. I was mortified enough dropping y pants in the docs office and then the doctor said it looks like a herpes outbreak. I immediately asked for another doc to come in and he agreed. They said I needed to be tested IMMEDIATELY...terrible bedside manor. I went to the gyno and sure enough I left being prescribed acyclovir. This made no sense... I've been with the same guy for three years and trust me, there's been no cheating. I was depressed but my bf said, I love you & we'll go through this together & wen I return from boot camp, I'll get it with you.THAT is how I realized true love in this mess that I thought would destroy my life
—Guest Shocked

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