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Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

Responses: 541


Updated November 26, 2011

From the article: Living With Herpes
What is it like living with herpes? It's different for everyone. Some people have symptoms that drive them crazy, while others only know they're infected because of a positive test. What has living with herpes has been like for you? How has it affected your dating life? Your relationship with doctors? Has it changed your image of yourself, or is everything still basically the same as it was before? You'd be surprised at how many people you know are living with herpes and how little it may be changing their lives.

To answer anonymously, log out and post as a guest.

NOTE: This is a place for stories. Do not post questions here, since there is no way for anyone to answer them. Instead, ask questions in this forum.

Happy Go Lucky Go Herpes

I'm the type of person that good things happen to, everything always works out for me, and when it doesn't I have the strength and positivity to bounce back. But to have been hit with the finality of such devastating news has left me reeling to a point I'm not sure I can come back from. I'm so upset. I practiced safe sex with a random guy. In the age of sexual liberation I thought a condom was good enough and I was invincible. The next day I shaved and several days later I started to itch like crazy. I just figured I was getting razor burn gone wild and proceeded to use anti-bacterial topical cream but the bumps weren't coming to a head that would burst. They got worse, couldn't sit. Doc told me yesterday it was Herpes. I love sex and now I cannot do what I love without EVER putting the person I care about at risk. Who will take me after this? On the bright side i'm interested to see how I will evolve without having sex in my life. Looking fwd to things getting better though.
—Guest badluck

I don't think I can go on

I just found out today and the person I been having unprotected sex with doesn't seem like the type. We've done it 4 times and 3 times without a condom. I feel so Disgusted with myself like how could I let this happen I'm a 20 yr old african american female working as a certified nurse assistant. I feel that I may not be lucky enough to find an understanding man . I really wish I had someone to talk to or chat with that has this to help ease my mind bc I'm really going crazy ! How do I tell him without him trying to flip it on me ? Please someone reach out to me:(
—Guest Sad heart

At Worst Very Mild Symptoms

I think I got Herpes at 17 and I'm 34 now and have only just self diagnosed myself, I was just looking for details about the molecular biology behind it and specifically axoplasmic transport when I ended up here. The initial symptoms weren't that much more than a painful large zit on my penis. I get a repeat of the symptoms every 2 or 3 years and that is as bad as it gets. I just avoid sex whilst having an outbreak which isn't difficult as it can be painful. I personally don't concern myself over stigmas but I can appreciate others may struggle with it so just take it for what it is, virtually nothing in real terms.
—Guest Who

it could be worse

my husband n i been having our ups n downs just like any other marriage. we became seperated n decided to see other people. i met this guy and we had unproteted sex. month later me n my husband said we will give our marriage another try. well last week i decided to get tested for everything...jus found out yesterday that i contracted hsv2 and i was grateful it wasnt deadly. i thanked God for allowing me to be able to see my kids graduate n have their own. i did tell my husband n he guessed it before i told him. see what happen is that i never contracted hsv2 when we seperated. i recall my husband having bumb-like on his penis 6 yrs ago before we got married n i question it but he said he was nothing n i havent seen it on him since. i never i had a breakout but the doc said its probably because of my imune system. but for my husband to know what i had before i had the chance to tell him lets me know how i got it. but like i said i am very greatful.
—Guest his wife

not the end of the world

My husband has herpes. I do not. It's not that big of deal, and our sex life is HOT. We just don't have sex when he's having an outbreak. Happens every couple months or so. He takes valtrex immediately when he feels "itchy" and more often than not the blister never fully forms. Abstinence during breakouts is our only form of protection.
—Guest guest cass

Depressed and scared

I am absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I just found out last week that I tested positive for hsv1 and 2. I have been with the same man for the past 10 years and within the last year found out that he has cheated on me with numerous women. I am so scared that I can give it to my children by kissing them and them eating with me...I feel like my whole life has changed. And even though the nurses, my doctor, and websites say that a lot of people have it I still feel like I am by myself. My self esteem has dropped and I feel like I have been used up.
—Guest justfoundout

My Story

i have had herpes for almost four years but only recently diagnosed (three months ago). i was able to go so long without knowing because my symptoms are so minimal. doctors told me for years that i was just having a simple pimple and not a herpes outbreak. the word herpes did float around a few times but since my boyfriend and only unprotected sex partner never had symptoms i figured i was fine. i didn't know it could be asymptomatic. my herpes is still virtually symptom free. even if i feel i might have an outbreak, i take valtrex and its gone in a matter of hours or a day. i feel lucky that this is the extent of my disease, because i know many others have it worst. my biggest obstacle is finding love and finding sex. i feel so uncomfortable telling anyone and i've chosen to simply not to. its very hard. i am asked out on dates almost daily and i have to either turn them down or risk leading someone on. i'm optimistic that it will happen for me someday. there is always hope.
—Guest Me

Dont do what I did

I was 28 and I remember the night vividly. It was nearly 30 years ago. I was totally shocked, crushed and distraught, like so many here. I had done what we do, had unprotected sex with someone I didnt know. Who knows why we do these things but we do. Since that time I have had sex for 1 year. I am now looking at my life and realizing that Herpes is not so bad in itself. Its the fear of passing it on. When I got this there was no web site like this. I just buried my needs inside Herpes. What a mistake that was. I lost years of love and years of wonderful sex that I could have had. I am determined now to get over this feeling because as one very wise person said on a post "if this is the worst thing that happens to you in life, be grateful". I am now in Menopause and looking toward old age. Dont let Herpes take your only youthful years away. As these posts show, there are wonderful people who will accept you. Good luck!

New to this infection

I am now having my 2nd outbreak. It has been exactly one month since my first. I have been with my partner for 2 months now. I have never had any symptoms like this before, however, I can be honest and say I was in a few irresponsible sexual relationships in the past so I may have caught it elsewhere. He has been tested and is negative so far. He says he doesn't care and will stay with me but I make sure we use protection. This may sound very ignorant, but i'm worried about my 5 year old daughter. Can she get it from our toilet?or bathroom?> i won't even let her use my towels. I find myself scrubbing the bathroom on a daily basis now and bleaching everything i'm so terrified.
—Guest HSVsux

Life goes on

I am with a man and the first, after a 25 year failed marriage with a man who cheated on me. This guy I am dating told me he has genital herpes....I was in denial and after just 3 times of having sex with him I get the sores.....now he is telling me he thinks it was just lust between us, wow!......I believe everything happens for a reason and I plan to grow from this experience! Life is a gift and this is not the end of the world. I will find a love someday, I am not alone and neither are you.
—Guest 51stillhavingfun

How to handle this?

I am 18 years old and this Friday I go through one of the biggest experiences of my life: high school graduation. After having sex with my boyfriend, I developed blister like bumps near my anus... Tomorrow I go to get tested. What happens if it comes back positive? I know I should tell him... How does one phrase that sort of confession: "Hey darlin, turns out I got the herps! Still love me, right? No, I didn't cheat."?
—Guest Scared Female

Need Answers

The nurse called me and told me I tested positive for Type 1 herpes but negative for Type 2. I honestly dont know the difference. I've been dating this female and I think I'm going to break up with her. I guess ill be single for the rest of my life
—Guest Faith

Herpes or not :)

I'm 17, and my boyfriend who we both gave our virginity to each other, has herpes . I had swollen glands, and little tiny bumps. I been to the doctor and got a blood test and culture .. He has I don't have it . Me and my boyfriend never used condoms and we been together for 3 years. I don't know what to believe .. Honestly I don't really care if I do have it . It's not the end of the world . I'm a beautiful girl and even if my boyfriend isn't the one .. One Day I will get married and have beautiful kids .
—Guest Sam

It is what it is.

I'm 22 male that in the past year have slept with three women since last being tested. Came back positive for HSV2 it's depressing. I infected the last women I slept with but surprised she is taking it so well doesn't hate me for it. I didn't know at the time that I was infected until recently. Two weeks ago I started dating a women I was falling hard for hung out every day last week kissed every second it was what I have been looking for awhile now. I told her early into are relationship and we haven't had sex because I want her to be ok with it. She's not though she's terrified of getting Hsv i do not blame her. She wants me but then at the same time she doesn't. It looks like what I have waited for so long is leaving. She wants me in her life she says. But it hurts to be placed as just a friend because of this, I feel like a monster now. I want to be with her but not if she can't handle my flaws. I have been honest with her from the beginning all I can do is hope she comes around.
—Guest Guest

Life With Herpes

I'm a 15 yr old girl with genital herpes. I found out that I had it about 3 months ago, when I had my first outbreak. It was SO PAINFUL. I couldn't walk whatsoever, couldn't pee, or anything. My bf said he was clean because he had gotten tested but he was healing from a cold soar and we had oral sex and I got it from that. I am on my second outbreak right now, but its because I'm diabetic and don't take care of my blood sugars like I should. Luckily, this one is much more mild compared to my first one. It sucks knowing that I'm only 15 and have this for the rest of my life.
—Guest Life With Herpes

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