Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

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Life goes on

I am with a man and the first, after a 25 year failed marriage with a man who cheated on me. This guy I am dating told me he has genital herpes....I was in denial and after just 3 times of having sex with him I get the sores.....now he is telling me he thinks it was just lust between us, wow!......I believe everything happens for a reason and I plan to grow from this experience! Life is a gift and this is not the end of the world. I will find a love someday, I am not alone and neither are you.

—Guest 51stillhavingfun

How to handle this?

I am 18 years old and this Friday I go through one of the biggest experiences of my life: high school graduation. After having sex with my boyfriend, I developed blister like bumps near my anus... Tomorrow I go to get tested. What happens if it comes back positive? I know I should tell him... How does one phrase that sort of confession: "Hey darlin, turns out I got the herps! Still love me, right? No, I didn't cheat."?

—Guest Scared Female

Need Answers

The nurse called me and told me I tested positive for Type 1 herpes but negative for Type 2. I honestly dont know the difference. I've been dating this female and I think I'm going to break up with her. I guess ill be single for the rest of my life

—Guest Faith

It is what it is.

I'm 22 male that in the past year have slept with three women since last being tested. Came back positive for HSV2 it's depressing. I infected the last women I slept with but surprised she is taking it so well doesn't hate me for it. I didn't know at the time that I was infected until recently. Two weeks ago I started dating a women I was falling hard for hung out every day last week kissed every second it was what I have been looking for awhile now. I told her early into are relationship and we haven't had sex because I want her to be ok with it. She's not though she's terrified of getting Hsv i do not blame her. She wants me but then at the same time she doesn't. It looks like what I have waited for so long is leaving. She wants me in her life she says. But it hurts to be placed as just a friend because of this, I feel like a monster now. I want to be with her but not if she can't handle my flaws. I have been honest with her from the beginning all I can do is hope she comes around.

—Guest Guest

Life With Herpes

I'm a 15 yr old girl with genital herpes. I found out that I had it about 3 months ago, when I had my first outbreak. It was SO PAINFUL. I couldn't walk whatsoever, couldn't pee, or anything. My bf said he was clean because he had gotten tested but he was healing from a cold soar and we had oral sex and I got it from that. I am on my second outbreak right now, but its because I'm diabetic and don't take care of my blood sugars like I should. Luckily, this one is much more mild compared to my first one. It sucks knowing that I'm only 15 and have this for the rest of my life.

—Guest Life With Herpes

I'm in denial

In January I was diagnosed with hsv1, I had no blood test, but results came back + .. I have had no further symptoms even though I have been very ill, stressed etc, my first OB was a few bumps after I shaved.. No puss, no itching, no pain, no headaches.. My partner had no sores on his mouth, I think I have been misdiagnosed as I had the same symptoms when I was 13. I have a new partner now, I haven't told him. For reasons: when others have hsv on their face they don't tell others unless they have an OB.. They don't use condoms when kissing? So why should we if we have no symptoms? I'm going to get re-tested and pray for it to be negative. I refuse to believe I have HSV1 genitally. Please help?

—Guest Sgm1994

Meh...

I'm a 23 y/o athletic female. I got a herpes culture which came back negative so I took a blood test which came back positive for HSV-2. I found out about 8 months into my relationship w/fiancee, they say someone can hold the virus for years before an outbreak, so neither one of us blames each other because we both partied a LOT in college. Unfortunately, I was the first one to get an outbreak. It was so painful to pee, at night I would sit on the toilet for an hour trying to pee. For a week it felt like I had a full bladder but nothing would come out...when I did finally pee it would run over the lesions and it was SO PAINFUL. I took Valtrex and used a topical anesthetic from Dr. as well as some Gold Bond so the area wasn't moist and it all disappeared after a week. It's very important to wear lose clothing so everything can breathe. No 2nd outbreaks yet, but if I even feel like one MIGHT be coming, I take my Valtrex, it's been about 4 months since 1st outbreak and I'm fine so far

—Guest herpes101

We had no clue!

Well, I'm 16 and one of my biggest fears in life was getting herpes, I was told I has it and I didn't wanna believe it. My boyfriend and I had been having sex and oral sex for a year now and nothing ever happened, one day before going to see him, I had cut my vagina shaving and then we had oral sex and I got Herpes, HSV-1. it was the worst most painful and excruciating pain I had ever been through in my whole life, I only itch down there when its time for my period now, We had no idea you could get it from oral sex, he has a history of cold sores, Nd that's how I got it. Be careful out there!

—Guest Girl that was in pain.

You are not alone

I contracted this from being sexually assaulted. I had to tell a few guys I was dealing with what was going on with me some of them were cool, where others weren't. You just have to have that conversation with a very mature person and one that is going to be around for awhile. I told my husband when we were just messing around and that made him fall even more in love with me. I am currently pregnant with my second baby. You can still have a full sexual life without the embarrassment. But make sure the person you tell is someone you can TOTALLY TRUST.

—Guest Mommytobe1974

chin up, don't let it stop you from love

I was 22 when I was diagnosed with hsv 2. One morning I woke up and was very painful to move. Went to the bathroom and it really hurt to piss, very concerned I went to the Dr, days later they called me back in and told me I am positive for herpes, I was devastated, before the symptoms all happened thou my bf at the time left me. I confronted him and he apologized. Living with it for 8 years now, have a four year old, had a vaginal birth, was scared thou. But she came out healthy. Been with my partner for six years my and he didn't care I had herpes, he did contract it thou sadly. He lucky he doesn't get recurrences thou. Me I get it more then four times a year. The Dr wanted the name of the guy and I told him and he was like o my. Your not the only one. I did find out from other ppl that he has passed it on to over woman with out telling them. Which is maddening. But my life right now is awesome. It can be a nuisance thou sometimes. Don't let it stop you from finding love and happines

—Guest just a guest.

oh SH*T.

I am about 4 months pregnant and have every one of the symptoms for hsv-1 and 2. I am pretty freaking scared... Not for me, but for my baby, I always wanted to have a natural birth, but now that might not happen. I am getting married next summer and I am really upset thinking that I might have an irreversable virus/infection. I feel pretty awful about it... It's extremely painful and the first blister thing just appeared the other day after I had an -out-of-no-where fever... FACK. All of your positive stories are making me feel better though, its not like Herpes is going to make me fatter, uglier or even make me a bad mother. I guess I will just have to have a C-section. I would rather have a giant scar on my belly than harm my baby.

—Guest mother-to-be

Living with Herpes

hi, Im a 17 year old female. I was diagnosed with herpes on my vagina last august. its been 8 months living with herpes. I got my first PAINFUL outbreak on my vacation to deep creek, maryland. i first started out with a fever, i just thought i was extremely sick, on top of that i had a killer headache. i went to bed that night, took some tylenol. the next morning i woke up and my vagina swelled and was hurt. i had to waddle. then i started to get little puss looking bubbles of clusters ALL OVER my vagina, inside and out. they were everywhere. the first outbreak is the worst. i was freaked out. i couldnt pee, i had to get a cathider thing put in my vagina so i could pee, because it was too painful to pee myself. it burnt so bad. my vagina was so swelled, it was unbearable. i cried my eyes out. im only seventeen and i have herpes for life. i didnt get my second for 8 months. it was really small and mild. i hope it continues to only be small outbreaks.

—Guest Shannon

ITS NOT THAT BAD

Herpes is a scary word to hear, some people are so in denial and they never even bothered to get tested...I thought I had experienced a bad yeast infection, and i was completely against going to the doctor (no health insurance at the time) so i did herbal rememdies. Then it went away, that was in May 2010, then in December 2010 I had a small blister near my anus with 3 bumps above it....i looked closely and noticed a hair located in the middle of the blister so i assumed it was an ingrown hair. i pulled it out with a twizer (yes very painful and i through out the twizer after that) then it didnt seem to make the situation better...it took about a week for it to clear...I never "crusted" like herpes is supposed to...mind you, i've always been to the gyno...then finally i decided to get the tests and what happens? a Whooping possitive..i cried hysterically..its normal, but it does pass..you dont carry a sign saying "hey i have herpes"...no one knows it..1 in 5 woman have it..so dont worr

—Guest Hope

Be Careful

Last year I had my first outbreak. It was awful. It started out with flu like symptoms a few bumps. Then they started to spread. Going to the bathroom was torture. I went to the doctor and she told me it was herpes. However the blood test for HSV-1 and 2 was negative. So was my boyfriends. I convinced myself I didn't have herpes. That it could have been a UTI, a yeast infection, or something else. It sounds awful now. Thinking about how much denial I was in. I had my second outbreak a few days ago. How did I get this? It makes me wonder if I was cheated on. We were six months into our relationship when both of our tests came back negative. It's not as big a deal as it seems. At least its something I can live with. I got retested today just to see If I have hsv-1 or 2. I know its going to come back positive. I'm prepared for that.

—Guest Guest

No cure, but found relief through diet

I've found that by avoiding consuming potatoes (as they are high in arginine), and lowering my stress levels through short meditation exercises and exercise, my herpes outbreaks have diminished considerably. I once suffered from outbreak after outbreak, sometimes simultaneous outbreaks. These are accompanied by flu-like symptoms and preceded by prodromal(sp?) symptoms (minor burning, itching, tingling at prior and shortly-to-come outbreak sites). I've also found that, when I felt those prodromal symptoms, if I iced the area for some time, the outbreak would be a great deal shorter in duration as well as smaller in size and pain over all. I'm 35 years old now, and really only experience an outbreak when I give in to my potato cravings (and sometimes when I'm sick with some other virus). I hope this helps anyone seeking relief. My outbreaks occur from right finger tips to right elbow. At age 28, I drunkenly fell asleep on right hand open sore, transferring to cheek. Cover wounds!!!

—Guest HerpesSinceAge2