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Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

Responses: 541

By

Updated November 26, 2011

Feeling horrible

I was diagnosed 2 years ago with Hsv Menengitis but never had an outbreak. Of herpes. My tests came back poaitive for viral menengitis and negative hsv2. I started seeing a girl ive liked since high school (im 23 now) and we hit it off. Weve had sex 3 times and used protection all.3 times and after the last time we had sex, I got my first herpes outbreak. Im mortified. I have no clue how im going to tell this to the girl of my dreams. She knows I have viral menengitis, but how to tell her that I just had a outbreak of herpes for the first time??? Im so lost and scared she will reject me and hate me idk what to do. I know that manning up would be to tell her, but I cant bring myself it. Im such a coward. Maybe ill make up an excuse to break up with her :/
—Guest Fml

Confused

So my girlfriend said that her vagina felt as it was burning..so she went to some clinic and they told her it was a yeast infection..a week later they told her she had genital herpes..i dont know how it could be herpes if shes been faithful and i've been faithful..wat should we do?? ***From Your Guide: If you haven't been tested, it's possible that you've been infected without recognizing it for years. You should get tested, and you should take appropriate safe sex precautions***
—Guest Buster

confused and scared

Well, it's Jan 2012 and I went to the a walk-in clinic due to burning and the irritation and they said it was a yeast infection gave me a antiboitic and sent me on my way, about a week later the pain and bleeding got so bad i went to the ER and they said it was my period well today i went to my primary doctor and he look at it and said yes its ulcers scared out of my mind. He sent me for blood work and i wont get the results back until 1 week from now. Funny part of this whole story is I NEVER had a outbreak and i have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and he has been tested and he is negitive so now the questions start "is he gonna stay with me?"
—name_unknown

life is

just found out recently a young lady i was seeing gave it to me she had cheated and denies it and now she doesnt want to talk to me. im not upset and im not scared to talk about it.I already have with some friends and everyone has been cool. i have had hpv for 9 years now and it doesnt seem to bother adults when you tell them about adult situations so im not going to let this one put any shame on me either. im 34 and all you can do is tell a person and i found with hpv i have never had a woman that i was interested turn me away and if someone looks at you crazy then they probably arent adult enough for you anyway.
—Guest not sweating it

New Relationship

I recently got out of a 23 year marriage and started dating again. I met someone and had to go through the embarrassment of telling him I had herpes. He doesn't know if he can handle it, he is scared out of his mind. I really like him, but I have the feeling he won;t be able to deal with it. I've had this disease for over 30 years through a marriage and 2 kids, but it is still embarrassing. Maybe one day I will find someone who can handle it!
—Guest Dina

me

I'm a female that isn't sure yet if I have herpes.The dr told me I have to go to a Gyno to get the test done. My symptoms match up though.I can understand if u just meet someone or ur boyfriend might have had it but, me I've been married.I don't think he has cheated but, u never know.I do know that this sucks!!! How can people work?? Thank God I don't work cause I don't know who can. No one in my life has had this, that I know of.So,how did I get it?I have had 3 children and now this. I was fullish when I was younger but, weren't we all?Why after all this time or not??The morning I can wake up and actually have no pain will be the best day ever!! I'm really glad there are other people who can relate to this.I fell sorry though for myself and others bec of the pain.I don't wish this for anyone.
—onlyme12

MY storry

i think i have it i been with my boyfriend for almost 3 yrs were both 18 i had sex only once before him but i was protected sex i had sex with my bf many times and the last time we had sex was last weekend we hadnt done it in a month so i thought i was just sore becus of that, i start getting leg ache headaches so it was still feeling sore so i decided to check to reviel that i had some bumps i search up on the internet and im sure to have herpes i havent told anyone not even him im scared and im gonna take a test to see if im + or - ,im in extremely pain but im confused to know how i got it because i know for a fact he did not cheat on me so im in a shocking situation i really want to know if im + or -
—Guest shockerr

Devastated

I just got a new partner. We were careful in the beginning by using condoms and after several months ditched them. Two days after unprotected sex my vagina hurt. I too thought it was because I hadnt had sex in a while but by the beginning of the 2nd day I had a fever and body aches. I thought it was a bad yeast infection so I Gyno today and she told me she thinks it's herpes. I was devastated. I was crying and hysterical. I never thought it would happen to me. Im waiting for my blood work to come back and in the meantime also waiting to tell my partner. If the blood work determines I have antibodies then I've had Herpes for a while and that means I gave it to him! However, if no antibodies are present then I know he gave it to me. I hate the waiting part and I know this is going to be a difficult process for the both of us. I've already told him I'm sick and I have to wait for the blood work. I know it's not fair to keep him in the dark but I don't want to bring it up yet.
—Guest Unsure

Living with It

I am 48. Was diagnosed 2 years ago after being faithfully married for 17 years. I was embarrassed and mad. In the last 2 years I have had a couple of minor outbreaks, nothing like the first one, which was so horrible. I started seeing someone 8 months ago and told him about it. He didnt reject me. We practiced safe sex with a condom for about 4 months then got careless. I had no symptoms but he is positive. I just found out. He has been distant & I am devastated this has happened to him. He is now going through the same emotions that I did. I had done all the research and knew we should always use a condom. What was I thinking? I feel selfish and ashamed. I wanted a normal sexual relationship like I had before this. Thats the part, how do you ever feel normal again? Because it is so taboo I dont feel like I can talk about it to my friends. I guess thats the problem, no one talks about it openly. And you end up suffering in private.
—Guest Jen

More To The Story... January 2012

Hi Everyone, I'm 19 years old going on 20. I was having symptoms in 2009 of being real sick/urinary pain/sore-bump and my blood results finally became positive in late January of 2010 for herpes. 2yrs since I've had it now. In this new year of January 2012 I am currenty in a relationship and have recently had unprotected sex and an outbreak because of unknown refills of my medication. A few days later my boyfriend has been keeping a secret from me that he has been burning when he urinates and that this happens every year but doesn't last him this long and is usually from not drinking water and too many sodas. He doesnt have any medical insurance and pays for his services. This Thursday we are going to the clinic together to find out what is really going on with him. Hes 19 also and claims he only had sex 4 times but theres more. He accepts my condition but I believe he isn't telling me enough information. We also had sex recently he said when he released his sperm it felt like glass..
—LaLalove92

Serpent in my life

In October of 2011 I found out my boyfriend had a fiancé and was still married to another woman and sleeping with both of them. I went immediately for an STD test and all came back negative. In January of 2012 I developed bronchitis and started taking antibiotics for it. I had sex with my partner about a weekni to the antibiotics treatment. The following Friday I developed a blisteron my vagina. I assumed it was a friction sore and ignored it. However by Sunday I had full open blisters from my labia to my anus, along with painful burning urination, and swollen lymph nodes. Went to my gynos for an exam now pending cultures and asecond round of bloodwork he believed I have herpes. I don't know what to do, how to live, how to tell someone.
—Guest Devastated

Hope love

I found out I have HSV 2 new years ..... Well I diagnosed myself ! I have been to the doctor & I am currently tAking medication . I told my best friend of 3 years that I had it & he has helped me through it All, we are even getting married in a month !! Unconditional love doesn't come everyday but the moment I saw it I knew he was the one ! We are both 18 & he is in the air force so this will be big for us ! Herpes has changed my life & my trust for people but life isn't over !!!!
—Guest Newly wed

ITS OK

hello i am 16 years old and found out i have herpes yesterday. but before i had found out i had been reading the bible and praying i didnt have it .. but i also made a promise that if i did have it i wasnt gonna be mad at god for it and im going to still love him and pray this disease away . well when i found out i was in shock at first started crying im sure all of us did that.. i cried with my mom for the first time too and i loved it.. well i got over it within the hour after my mother reaveld that she has it too.. she had it for four years.. but me being the person i am looked at all the benifits out of this.. for instance look at it as an opportunity to trust GOD more :) and dont dwell on it.. however i know how hard it is to not.. but when this happens pray to the lord and ask him to help you to not dwell on it .. say please father stop these thoughts from making me feel like this . i love you and thank you. im here to tell you U CAN BE HAPPY with this. ASK And U shall recieve.
—Guest god is there

living with herpes from man who's dating

Hello I picked up Herpes HSV2 at the age of 19. This was some 25 years ago now. Yes its a pain and yes it will affect your dating. However I have managed to have two children and a great marriage. Sadly my wife died recently (of unrelated problems I promise!)and am now going through the tricky process of dating. I still get the odd outbreak so have to be careful however i am now seeing a lovely lady who knows about my infection. This took an awful lot of organising and being absolutely truthful. However I did ensure that I told her once we had had a number of dates but before we had penatrive sex. So far so good but must say I am stil more than a little worried what will happen if I pass it on to her. We are careful but after 10 months together not that careful! So duel message, Herpes is not the end of the world and yet it will demand that you change your behaviour!
—Guest Anon man

It's OK :) cheer up

I was coinfected with HSV2 and Candida albicans about a year and a half ago through a sporadic contact, though at the time the symptoms of herpes were mild and went unnoticed, and I was only diagnosed of candidiasis. Several months later I met my sweetie... it's tough, boys and girls, but if you have an STD you have to say it. If you explain yourself correctly it shouldn't hurt your relationship, and it gives a chance for prevention. Sadly, I didn't have an obvious herpes recurrence until much later, and by that time I had already infected my boyfriend. However this doesn't mean you can't fall in love and lead a normal life. I've read several devastated comments about "ruined lifes"... don't take it like that, people. Herpes is distressing, annoying, and sometimes painful, but it's treatable and not life-threatening. By the way, I'm still together with my bf and carrying his baby :))) Cheers
—Guest Happygolucky

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