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Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

Responses: 901


Updated November 26, 2011

Don't trust anyone

So I just found out I have HSV-2 and just had my first outbreak a couple of days ago, I knew what it could be the minute I got the first bump, I was mortified, I still cry from time to time and feel depressed and I'm scared if I have this what If I could have HIV or something else ya know. So I'm going to my doctor to get checked out asap for everything else, I'm not quite sure how who I got it from but I have a pretty good idea because I've only had unprotected sex with 2 people since I broke up with my ex, it just sucks because I'm beautiful and never thought this would happen to me, now my life is forever changed because I made some wrong decesions, so well normal life...
—Guest Can't believe it

Again and again

I always thought I wasn't worth much, I slept with many men for fun, didn't think I was the relationship type. Few months ago I had an abnormal pap and learned I had high risk hpv. That or some reason did not stop me there. God had given me a chance to change my ways, I did not. I stayed with the same guy for three months, but we had a foursome unprotected. He broke up with me and then I had more unprotected sex with three other guys. Im pretty sure it's from the last guy, but what does it matter. I told two of them I had hpv, and felt bad about the other guys who ended up being jerks. Anyway I get what I get, all of those years, 20 years old, and too many sex partners leaves me with two stds, and awaiting the results of my other test. Hopefully I don't have HIV. Maybe now I will realize my purpose and worth, give this life to someone else. Keep living even though things will never be the same. I'm having my first outbreak, shooting leg pains, fever, sore throat, hurting sores :(
—Guest Bad choice again and again

Life's curve balls

I found out when I was 18yrs old. A boy I was seeing at the time was dating another girl too. I was naive, immature and irresponsible. Now nine years later and two long term relationships in, I've learned to get through the hard talks at the beginning of the relationship. Not one relationship has ended because of this virus. I havent had a break out in about a year and credit this solely to good diet, exercise and maintaining the least amount of stress as possible - no pharmaceutical drugs!! My only hurdle I face is when I choose to have children, but I have comfort in knowing that 25% or so of the population is affected and I (we) are not alone.
—Guest Re-learning confidence

Wish I had Known!

In school, sex ed had briefly touched on STD's, but I hadn't known a lot about herpes before getting it at 17. It was with my first, and while I had noticed he had a bump on his lips, he kind of waved away the questions. Bout a month later, I was staying with a friend out of state and I got a really bad fever, fever blisters, and lots of pain. Went to the ER, and found out it was herpes. Blamed myself a lot, and have been living with guilt ever since. I am lucky in that I have maybe one outbreak a year, but there's a lot of shame associated with this condition. I feel a bit better now that I learned how many people are living with this as well, and I certainly learned from it. The best part is the guy who gave it to me just sent me a friend request on FB, 9 years after we last met. He has no idea how this has affected me, and the pain.
—Guest Living and Learning

Think I have herpes

My life has been a roller coaster, I'm 20 and have had over 60 sexual partners. I sometimes used condoms and sometimes not. I was diagnosed with Hpv five months ago. I was careful for awhile, but then met a guy date for awhile. He broke up with me, and then I went and had sex with three partners unprotected. I'm pretty sure it's from the last guy. I started feeling sick, sore throat, and each day I develop a small blister. I'm going to get checked tomorrow, I'm scared but not surprised. I feel like I deserve this whoever I got it from, maybe now I'll learn my worth as a woman and move on, I'm scared and hopeless almost.
—Guest Sad sad sad

my story (additional)

i wanted to add that using a condom helps but understand, herpes isnt always on a males penis or in a women vagina. When i get a small break out, im assume i was exposed by somewhere from her "around" her female parts. I get it about 3 inches above the base of my shaft so its not on my penis. Point is that you can wear a condom but if the breakout or the area is other then inside or on a males or females sexual parts, a condom does no good but wearing a condom definately makes sense. I dont think there is enough research going on in curing this because there is to much money in giving out medication then their is in curing it. Hell, australia has a huge portion of its population infected. Herpes is looked upon as dirty and bad and you are gross. Its like having a cut except more feeling down, terrible etc.. but its like a cut, you get cut, take medicine, neosporiin for a cut, put a bandaid on it. takes time to heal, take care of the cut and it goes away. Difference is herpes is sleepin
—Guest coping

Short Story

I got my gift for life (for now) from a girl i met and really fell for as she did me. Problem was she had herpes and didnt mention it. She mentioned it after, after we had sex. What are you suppose to say or do and since we were so into each other i was excepting of it for i would support and understand my mates issues and try to help. Didnt appreciate though, not telling me till "after" we had sex. I have been fortune that i have been in good health and only had mild mild breakout. It wasnt on my penis little spots a couple inches up from it. Ive gone long periods of time without a breakout and have had very few. What i totally notice when i did have a breakout were for 1 of 3 reasons. 1. STRESS, 2. Alcohol (not a single day but if you party for the weekend 3. SUN. This last year stress has been overwhelming and that is my main cause why ive had a couple breakouts. Its hard to keep the stress down in these times but its critical. Alcohol triggers it weakens your immune. Be careful.
—Guest coping

Thanks "Knowledge Is Power"

Thanks so much to "Knowledge Is Power" for informative post! It amazes me how many people have this condition and don't do their due dilligence to really research and understand it! I have a close friend who is infected and recently infected her bf bc she didn't want to believe that she could have no symptoms and transmit this. He is now in ICU with HSV encephalopathy. He could have permanent brain damage, if he even survives. Although his situation is rare, it can happen. To call this disease "no big deal" or merely a skin condition is horribly misleading.
—Guest RN in Cali


I am currently having my first outbreak and I'm in so much pain! I haven't come to terms with what I have because I can't think through this pain! I got told I had herpes three days ago and I got it from other sexual things but not sex... I didn't think this would happen to me and I am so scared about the future and having a partner that wont mind, this is really hard but reading these stories helps
—Guest Guest Lou


I've had a lot going on lately, so I really couldn't think much could be getting worse. I went to the on campus doctor because I thought I had a severe UTI, which I've never had before. I've only slept with 4 people my entire life, and always knew I should not be with that fourth person. Although we've been sporadically having sex since last year I knew he was careless. Now my doctor says I may have this. No one that hasn't experienced this could imagine the pain I've been going through, I could barely walk, stand, and peeing makes me want to absolutely kill myself. I just found out yesturday and Im trying to remain positive, but its difficult. Me and my partner have promised to not tell anyone, we are just on the same page with this. Im not mad at him, which Im confused about, because I should be, but I know he's really upset too. The worst part about this is I have to suffer painfully on my own, nevertheless I know I have to just keep my head up.

As long as god is with me

I'm 19 yrs old. I found out I had herpes when I was 16yrs old. When I first found out I was devastated. I felt like my whole world had collided. The reason why is because I had a boyfriend at the time, however I was sure I contracted hsv from another guy I had been sleeping with. It was tough but I told my boyfriend the same day because I did not want him to get it as well. To my surprise, my boyfriend was very supportive. He told me to not worry and that he was always going to be by my side. Although, I had my boyfriend's support I still had a very hard time getting used to the idea of having genital herpes. My next fear became that I would have HIV. After finding out I had herpes, I fell into a depression. All I wanted to do is sleep so that I wouldn't have to remember that I had hsv. I felt so alone therefore I begin to read the bible and pray as much as I can. I found that it comforted me a lot. Now, I've learned how to live with HSV and I am still with my boyfriend.
—Guest in Gods name

It's a minor skin condition!!!!

I have always been one very promiscuous girly. I have had over 30 sexual partners. But I have always used condoms religiously. 2 weeks ago I had my first lesbian encounter. She was amazing and beautiful. She warned me that she was diagnosed with HSV 2. A week ago I started having symptoms. This is my first STD and it's kind of a big one. But the more I think about it the less it matters to me. It's a condition that tens of millions of people have. Yes it's annoying and a little uncomfortable but my close friends already know and the guy who has always been in love with me says he wouldn't care if I had lepresy. I will never care about him in that way but just goes to show it's no big deal. Welcome to life. Worse things happen.
—Guest No worries

When do i ever love mysefy again

I having been living with Herpes four about 5 years now. And i still haven't found it in my heart to truly see my sefy loving me like i use to.I find my afraid to kiss my son. I thank God i had him first.I have a boyfriend that loves me so, and we have been dating four 3 years. He goesn't have herpes. I sometime push him away cause i don't want him to get it from me. We first start'ed out being saft but he still likes to put it in with puttin on something. Im young im 26 i have 1 child. I don't hate God i just feel like over four me.
—Guest no name


So pretty sure I have herpes type 2. I broke out two days ago and finally broke down today and went to the Dr which agreed. Still waiting for the blood test results but I'm sure I have it. I immediately told my bf of a year and he was surprisingly super supportive and said we will go through it together. I'm not exactly sure where we go from here but life goes on. I recently miscarried not even 3 weeks ago so this is super tough. but I guess your not given more than you can handle... I wish everyone going through the same tons of luck!
—Guest Scared

when will it get better

Recently diagnosed 6 months ago, after my first outbreak. it was a horrible experience and extremely painful.. Since then I have had outbreaks every month like clockwork. It occurs every month right before I start my period. The flare ups are nothing like the first, but enough to keep me sick in bed for about 48 hours. I get this extreme tired feeling. painful burning and just are overall feeling of sickness. Ive only told 2 people in my life, one being my now husband. When I told him I was sure he would call off our wedding but he didnt. Im unsure how I got this, I was married 22 years to a man that was unfaithful to me for much of our marraige, so I assume it was from him. I have been told that the virus can lie dormate in your body for years. I am hoping to learn more about others experiences and if my flareups will eventually stop. I take daily meds but it doesnt seem to be working.
—Guest Guest

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