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Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

Responses: 787

By , About.com Guide

Updated November 26, 2011

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i dont know what to do now

about 7 months ago i got my self involved in this relationship with this man i intend on being with for a very long time but shortly before meeting him i found out i had herpes i was wrong for not telling him we've had conversations based on stds and he thought it was disgusting just thinkin of the fact of having herpes now i feel like its time for me to take a step back and let go cuz if i reveal this information about myself i just dont think he'll take it lightly im confused and sadden by this and i know alot of these emotions is my fault cuz i shouldve been upfront with everything i was just afraid of being rejected and still am :-(
—Guest me

Everyone Deserves to Know

If you have any form of HSV, wouldn't you have wanted your partner to tell you. I am reading some of your posts and it seems there are some people who have found new relationships after their diagnosis, which is great, but do not have sex with this person and not tell them! Wouldn't you have wanted to the person who you contracted it from to have told you and gave you the opportunity to sleep on it and make sure this is a person your willing to take this risk for! A lot of you sound selfish and inconsiderate, if you have an incurable disease with the potential of spreading it, your partner deserves to know, whether it is a one night stand or Mr./Mrs. Right. I was diagnosed this year and have told men on our first date. There is no shame in having this, but there is a stigma, and if the person you are dating is so single minded that they can't get passed it then they don't deserve you. Let's have more respect for ourselves and others. HSV is now a part of you, and forever will be
—Guest Evry1deserves2know

So worried.

I'm a 16 year old teenage girl. Intelligent, smart, but made a horrible choice. I haven't gotten checked yet, but I'm almost positive I contracted genital herpes. I will know for sure in two days. I've been having horrible tingling and itching, and swelling. I haven't seen any sores on the outside, but it's pretty swollen and red in the vaginal opening. I hope I'm just freaking out and it could be something treatable. I'm horrified, but I know I deserve someone who cares about me for who I am, and shouldn't even be thinking about sex. I just hate how I'm in the prime of my life, I'm having so much fun and this could change my life forever. I haven't had sex in months but I think I may be having an outbreak. Reading everyone's stories has made me feel so much better. My blessings go out to all people who have any ANY kind of disease, herpes or not, or just the worriers like me. Be safe, and get tested. I pray I come back negative, but if I come back positive I won't let it get me down.
—Guest somegirl

Baby wipes

Buy baby wipes.... They are the only way to wipe after urination w almost no pain. They also keep your sores and infected areas clean. You're welcome!
—Guest Baby wipes

Just found out today

m 18 and started dating a guy (21) who i love now and its crazy how the day we meet we had drunk unprotected sex. who knew he would be the one to give me genital herpes. I started getting sick more often and having problems going to the restroom but i thought nothing of it cus he told me he was clean because he got checked 2 years ago.After a month later it hurt wayy more to pee and i started getting a burning pain down there so once i checked and looked i freakedd out to see these 10 ugly bisters i didnt know wut it was. So i went to the doctors hoping it wasnt herpes maybe a rash but i guessed wrong.i cried driving on my way home ,i told my boyfriend and he was in shock but he is very understanding about it and is here for me .We plan on moving in with each other and getting married one day. things will get better hopefully. its a good thing i have someone there to hold my hand.
—Guest havehope

The wonders of being a nursing major

First i would like to say to everyone of you to CHEER THE HELL UP lol It's going to be okay i promise. I am 21 years old and yes i am living with herpes. Funny thing is the doctor didn't tell me i had it, i figured it out myself from the schooling i have had. at first i thought i had a bad reaction to this scented pad i was using during my period. when my period went away the pain got worse so i took a look down there. i saw several blisters and knew right away what it was. i called my best friend and cried some more. come to find out she has it too, she just never had any outbreaks. i have know idea who i got it from but it could only be from a couple of people, it's not like i sleep around. i havn't told my boyfriend yet, just waiting for a good time. Good thing we aren't having sex right now. i know it can be like wtf at first but after that moment, life goes on. i am now waiting till i get married to have sex now, not because of herpes but because i deserve a guy who loves me for me
—Guest leighann

Remember your not alone

It was almost 3 years ago now when I found out I had herpes, the first outbreak was horrible and when I went to 2 different doctors and the both asked if I had herpes I began to worry. HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERPES. Last guy I slept with we used a condom (a old one) didn't think much of it till a week later when I was burning with pain. The infection came back about once-twice a month for a full year I thought It was the end of life and relationships. I didn't date for about a year ( I was in highschool and vey nervous about telling anyone) didn't have sex for a year. started dating this guy (been dating over 2 years now) and i just got my first outbreak in over 3 years.. it was hard to tell him the pain i was going thru and hes very scared. He still with me and supporting me thru everything which is great. It can be a scary thing but you just got to understand someone is always there with you and going through the same thing. It will get better, have faith!
—Guest Its gunna be alright

4 weeks left and diagnosed w/ herpes

I am 27 years old, with 4 weeks left to go in my pregnancy. And the doctor called me at home while I was sitting with my babies father, I didnt know how to react I was crushed and most of all concerned about my unborn daughter. I knew something just wasnt right I hurt so bad, seeing a toilet made me cry and being 33 weeks along I was going to the bathroom every 10 mins. The pain was awful I felt the bump and didnt think much of it until it was no longer tolerable. I asked my boyfriend if he felt any symptoms he told me no so I just do not understand how I got it. I dont know if I can really forgive him I feel so much madness but I really truely believe he had no idea about the herpes. I was given meds to take so Im hoping I can keep this under control. I just keep telling myself Its not going to kill me, I just have to stay strong!!!!
—Guest Kimberly

trying to cope

I am 25 and 3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with hsv2. I had unprotected sex with a girl over the summer that I met through work. At first she told me she believed sex was meant for married couples and I respected it and said its no big deal, well later things got heated so when she told me yes I thought for sure she was prob clean. Well a month later I woke up with a small bump on my penis and right away got checked. Doc said looks like herpes and I was in so shock I didn't knw how to feel or what to say. I have no buring , itching,pain just this ugly reminder on me for now. Reading these made me feel so much better and gave me hope again. For a min there I rlly didn't knw what to do with my life and how it would be from here on out. Keep your head up guys I'm sure happier days are on the way :)
—Guest philly

there is hope

I contracted genital herpes by my ex-fiance. He never told me he had it. I was very upset for not revealing this to me. I am 29 years old now, I told my husband about my STD and he still wanted to marry me. I have been married 4 years now and just had a baby. My husband does not have genital herpes and I have no passed it to our newborn. I get outbreaks maybe 1-2 times every couple years. There is hope to live a normal life after this!
—Guest hopeafterall

15 and a virgin

There are so many stories and i only read a few, but they still made me feel better. I'mjust 15 years old and never had sex, but i got herpes. My doctor said i could have gotten it from a number of things like touching something that someone with a coldsore had touched and then changing a tampon or something. Either way this really sucks. I've missed 3 days of school (Plus the weekend in between) and counting. It wouldn't be that bad if the pain wasn't so terrible. I've had the sores for 5 days now and even with the medicine it doesn't seem to be improving at all. It hurts so bad i can't even pee. On top of all that i have my period too! So this is just like the worst week ever, but knowing i'm not the only one going through this is really helpful. And for everyone out there who thinks it's impossible to get it, it is. Even without having sex, it's not fair but it's true. Just always wash your hands and be careful.
—Guest Inpain

Hopeful

I recently learn that I contracted herpes. I woke up to painful itching and burning sensation in my vagina. 2 weeks later a bump appear and it burns like hell. I'm devastated but reading your story gives me hope.
—Guest Perfectmom34

First outbreak

I was diagnosed two days ago with genital herpes when I woke up and found sores all over my lady parts and my "behind" opening. My partner and I have been faithful, I have NO doubts about that. I'm currently taking anti-viral Meds and antibiotics for a UTI. I have never in my life imagined pain like this. I can't wear pants, walking and sitting upright is agony, going to the bathroom is so painful I cry everytime and feel like I'm going to faint. The virus must of been lying dormant in one of us and just decided to unleash itself. My fiancee' is being super supportive and helping me deal with this diagnosis. Herpes totally sucks and I wouldn't wish this kind of unimaginable pain on anyone.
—Guest In lots of pain

Putting things in perspective

I recently found out I have herpes I'm 22 and have had it 5 months now... I got it off a guy who I knew had it but we were both irresponsible as I didn't do research on it and slept with him after a drunken night out without a condom and he did not tell me all info he should have or insist on using a condom. I have had very minor outbreaks but almost every 2 weeks and I'm considering going on valtrex daily but was wondering if anyone meaning it had passed onto their partner. I like my best boy mate and hope to tell him and hopefully he will accept me. We aren't dying and I'm still who I was before if anything I've become healthier and more educated. There is someone out there for you I promise and they will love you for who you are and not what you have. It does not define you and there are so many worse things to have. I have my sight, I'm not in a wheelchair, I haven't cancer or HIV... Let's be honest we got to be careful when having sex thats it. There is a stigma but let's educate!
—Guest Getting there slowly

I know what you're goin thru

I was diagnosed with herpes 1 and 2 when I was 21. I am now 26. I know the pain we all girls go through on our first outbreak. How bad it hurts to pee, sit, lay, or even close our legs. That’s what I experience on my 1st outbreak. I went to the internet and did research about herpes. Thankfully we have treatment for these agonizing symptoms. Mines go away in less than a week w/medication. Once I feel that I’m going to get an outbreak, I start my valtrex and put the STD to “sleep” after 2-3 days. Which means I don’t even get an outbreak!!!! I have had a few relationships after I got diagnosed and have only passed it on to 1 person, my x-bf. To this day I really don’t know if he was the one responsible for it as he was already going through an oral outbreak after I got vaginal outbreaks. Please ppl… let’s be more cautious in choosing our partners and please always protect yourself by using condoms. Member there are more serious STDs out there or even HIV. Let’s be smarter and protect ourselves
—Guest HOMESTEAD

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