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Readers Respond: Living With Herpes

Responses: 920


Updated November 26, 2011

hell of a new start

I found out 3 days ago I have hsv2. assuming I got it fm my boyfriend who has never had any symptoms at all which is not uncommon in men. I went for my routine check up 3 weeks after we started getting hot n heavy. I had noticed some slight inflammation a few days after the first time we had sex unprotected. I chocked it up to irritated skin and moved on. during my exam the dr asked of I knew about these 2 sores in my genital area right where I had my episiotomy from having my baby. I was oblivious (that area is impossible to see unless u r looking for something) I had itching but no actual pain other than burning when I urinate when was a symptom of a UTI. theydid blood work and 4 days later I received a phone calm while at the gym with my best friend. I immediately cried. I told her what they said and she just looked at me and said "its ok I have it too." I told my bf. he still wants me. while I have driven myself to hives fm worry I'm doin the best to accept this and move on.
—Guest shock


I've been experiencing symptoms for a few days and I have a Dr appt tomorrow. I think I got it from oral sex when my boyfriend had a cold sore. We had no idea it could be spread that way. He is really supportive, we are planning on getting married soon. I know it's probably inevitable, but I really don't want to pass it to him. I'm just worried that if this relationship doesn't work out I'll have to keep explaining to future partners.
—Guest maybe...

Its really not that bad

I'm a 24 women, I have had genital herpes for 4 years now. The initial outbreak was awful, but subsequent outbreaks haven't been that bad. I take daily suppressive therapy, and when I feel that I am on the verge of an outbreak I increase my dosage. I am currently in a committed relationship, and my boyfriend doesn't mind that I have this virus. I insisted that he research it himself, and make his own informed decision. I have always been completely honest and upfront about the fact that I have herpes. I refuse to put other peoples health at risk. I don't feel dirty, I know I'm not, I have had very few sexual partners, I was just unlucky. Genital herpes isn't a death sentence. It doesn't make you dirty, and it won't ruin your life. Do a little research, you can safely carry a pregnancy, and actually have a committed sexual relationship. Don't dwell on the negative, just move on and deal with it.
—Guest Not that bad


Its going to be ok I am a 23 year old who just found put I had it and I was with the same person for 13yrs we broke up 2 yrs ago and I moved on not knowing I was possitive I told my bf and he acted like it was ok and then left me so I knw what your feeling like cause I dont want to tell no one I have it but just keep this in mind its somebody for everybody and you will find another u really like that will understand you and love u for who u are
—Guest Andrew

just been diagnosed

I've just got the test results back today and tested positive for genital herpes. I'm a beautiful 20 year old woman. I am currently in a relationship. I have everything I've ever wanted and never been so in love. I broke the news to my boyfriend. He didn't freak out, told me he still loves me but he's gone to think about things. I read your stories and how badly you feel about yourselves but you are still the same person. If someone has loved you before they will love you again. You would be surprised how many people in this world have this and not even know! If my boyfriend can't accept this then I know he's not the one. I will find the one for me. We all will.
—Guest never thought

Ruining Relationships

18 months ago I was diagnosed with HSV1 and HSV2. At that time I was in a committed relationship, so I let my guard down. Unfortunately my partner, was not an honest person and he lied about having not being tested for STD's. He was aware of having HSV1 and HSV2 and did not tell me because he thought if I had it too, I would not leave him. The relationship went south after that and I was left depressed, struggling with my confidence and dating with herpes. Since I was lied to I feel the need to be very up front about my condition. The word herpes is scary I understand. Despite my attempts to explain how well I manage myself, guys just don't understand. This is effecting my confidence emotionally and mentally. I feel like damaged goods and don't know how to get pass this. I want a life partner, I want to have a family one day, but cannot seem to get past this.

I Never Knew It Was That Contagious

Hello everyone. I am sixteen years old, and was always very wary of sex. 5 months ago, however, I met the most amazing boy that changed my mind about it. Just a kiss or a hug from him turned me on. Our chemistry is incredible! About two months in to our relationship, he started to touch me when we would make out. I rarely noticed when he adjusted his member, he did so because I would always put it in uncomfortable position when we were close. My mother noticed that we told eachother "I love you." And took me to the gynocologist to put me on birthcontrol just in case. A month later we get a call saying when they blood tested me I was positive for genital herpes. He had no idea that he had it, much less passed it to me. He had sex with only one girl before, but before him I had only been kissed twice. We believe it passed to me when he would move his, and then continue touching me. He insists it's no big deal, because he won't ever be with another. My mother got meds for me, too.
—Guest Surprised.

Isnt that bad

i had HSV 2 since March 1 2011 ..and living with it hasnt been that bad, i mean yea u can notice when an out break about to occur but i always take med, in the beginning i thought my life was over and i thought no one would accept me, but they have. u got those ppl who dont want anyone with the virus but ay i just move on, im a very handsome guy and ill find some one who will, up until today most time i forget i have it lol because i just got the mind set like ok this virus is apart of me for the rest of my life so i have to get use to it" so that how i over came it so now i dont stress about it ..I always use to have unprotected sex and the night i caught it, it was so many signs telling me to just stay home, like i came outside and my tire was flat but been the horny male i was i drove it to the gas station to put air in it just to pick the girl up ..smh,, so i make smart decision now
—Guest ..

Somethings still bother me

Been 4 yrs now since I found out. Its funny how somethings dont change. Today alone I heard a morning show joking about Herpes. Then I popped on to my FB and one of my friends made a comment about him finding out that someone got herpes and he was happy about it. It saddens me to think how people really are. Everyday I am learning how crummy people can be. Considering the majority of the people who contract a STD dont have any idea that there partner may have it. Or how bout the ones like me who didnt even get it thru sex. There stereo types are bull and that goes for all stereo types. I guess we just have to keep our head up and keep positive. There are worste things out there than this. I thank this site and your stories for helping me thru some tough times. It helps to know that many people are going thru the same thing.
—Guest 4 yrs now


I met a girl named at volleyball... let's call her Marie. We began to hook up (just making out and heavy petting.) One evening, an evening in which I thought I was going to get laid, She sat me down to tell me she "has something that comes back" - Initially, I thought she meant her period. She then inferred it was something that I can "catch" - which I guessed as Genital Herpes. She said she would understand if I didn't want to go any further. then cried. she then went on to tell me she contracted it from her long time college boyfriend who cheated on her and thats how she found out. I stopped hooking up with her because of the Herp. I will always admire her for telling me no matter how hard it was to say. that was 3 years ago. Today, I discovered a rash on the base of my... shaft. I am getting it checked out and but I'm pretty certain I've contracted it. I am most certain I didn't get it from Marie. However, her honesty had an effect on me. I will be honest with my future partners.
—Guest Gary

Why me

I was just told I have herpes. I was angry and sad. I told my boyfriend we are passing blame on one another. He had a sore above his mouth and I believe that's where my outbreak came from. In worried about ever having another partner or my children catching it. I don't know how to cope with this.
—Guest Amanda

My story - the truth

I'm a 15 year old guy, and I'm pretty sure I've got HSV-2. I told my close friend about a month ago and we've not spoken since, worst part is that there's this one girl I really like; and I mean I REALLY like her, but I know we can never happen. I would be happy going out and just being with her, I don't even need anything else but I doubt it will ever be how I want it to be. Me and her talk almost everyday, and I'm pretty sure it is leading to something but I'm trying to hold it off because I know I'm just goin to get hurt. I don't know what's better for me, living pretending like there's nothing I can do and being all upset constantly or just having that talk with her because I know either way I'll getting hurt even more. This stuff keeps me up at night, I'm often out for late night walks just to think about how badly I screwed up my life. I NEED someone to just talk to me about this, please it would honestly help me more than anyone else will understand. Anyone just talk to me pleas
—Guest Andrew

Dont give up

YoU can cope there's hope I was diagnosed with the disease on my birthday I felt depressed but I refuse to lose and I will not give up will change my life for the better and keep trusting in god
—Guest Life not over

passing it on

Well ive had hsv2 since 2006 It has ruined my marriage and now i have been with the same person for 3 yrs. he has accepted my condition and knows the risks of unprotected sex. I take my pill every day to help protect him and myself. He just got a spot on him and i think it could be it. I feel aweful. My cousin says he knew the risks but now it will be even riskier. I dont get ob on my privates i get it on the back of my thigh. but i can still pass it thru sex. As a woman I cant control where my fluids flow and I fear giving it to him thru oral. Now i fear getting it thru sex on my vagina. He doesnt have insurance so he is going to get meds. I can live with this I just have a hard time passing it on even tho it was his choice to be with me. No one wants it. I just hope it doesnt ruin our relationship. I almost dont want to have sex anymore. Even tho I didnt get it thru sex i can still give it thru sex and the meds wont stop the passing of it. I pray they find a med that stops the passin
—Guest Christine

Pills help

Well Im on Valacyclovir everyday. Im with a man that doesnt have it. I want to protect him. He doesnt want to. I dont get outbreaks on my genitals but on the back of my left thigh. I have only had a couple but as long as I am on it I wont get it. Every month I would get an outbreak when I got my period. Again never on my genitals. He didnt think he could get it even tho Im on the pills but I havent had an outbreak for at least one yr. and i take the pills everyday. He just showed me a mark on him and he thinks its it. 3 yrs we have been unprotected and fine until now. I hope its not it. I lost my husband shortly after I found out and he got it. Now my newest boyfriend. He says he new the risk and he makes his discussions. I still feel responsible I feel gross I dont ever want to have sex again. And I hope he doesnt hate me and he really does love me like he says. I hope he doesnt leave me now. I would leave me. I wish the pills stopped the transfer....I'd take um till I died to stop it

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